I Am Not Gay But Boy Was I Horny!

It was all so exciting! I was 15 at the time. Smoking weed laying in bed together pretending you are asleep.
Slowly touching eachothers private parts. Jacking eachother off.
The first session, I was laying behind him pushing a finger up his arse lubricated by his own ***** from when I made hime *** in my hand.
There where slippery fluids everywhere and that really got me going.
I put his ***** all over my **** and his butt and started jacking myself OFF, I came hard and shot my load all over his butt hehe.. It seemed there were no limits as to how dirty this may get. If I had ****** him he would have loved it. But for me that was a bridge too far.
I was all the more exciting because he had an ABSOLUTE FEAR OF STAINS. He was ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED with the shower ritual, and het showered at east twice a day for half an hour straight always talking about his need to be absolute clean.
So even the more surprising and exhillarating I could just showe a finger, covered in *** all-up-his-*** with him moaning hard while I did it! Smelling my finger afterwards, inhaling the dirtyness deep...

All the while it felt like a VERY taboo and wrong thing to do, and you didn't speak about it to ANYONE. And besides I was denying it all was happening even while it was happening. 

For me the bubble burst when I was ginving him head the second night (also for the first time ever in my life, I just did it like a pro..) I looked up, hoping that he really was asleep and he slowly opened his eyes, and looked at me with a glazin stare and a horny grinn, like he wanted to eat me, brrrr
Suddenly I was wide awake!
I was in shock, because I had always kept denying this side of me. Only to find out it added to the kick!..
 
But me being indecisive about it, caused guys like him to fall in love with me. I was sooooo inexperienced!
He wasn't even a good friend of me, he just wanted to own me or something. (And I didn´t fully get the message till years later...)

but I found it much too confronting and soon after he opened his eyes and wanted to kiss or something,  
I got off him saying no, and straight went to sleep.

It turned out he was in love with me all along right from the first moment he saw me, it was his big secret.......

Not two weeks later he freaked out,
probably he was afraid I would tell someone he was gay. But I didn't even fully know what that ment!

One day I came to school, (the worst day of my life as a teenager)
and he had placed notes all around school, saying I was gay accusing me of harresting him!

and he was shouting across the schoolyard that he wanted to beat me up.
We had a fight and I left school in the middle of the schoolyear.
I ended up explaining (in front of my whole class!) some 'things' had happened between me and this boy (who was now suspended), but I was sure I was NOT GAY and was gonna leave the school per direct. It was traumatic.

Cold one week I was at my second school, when a schoolparty was given.
There I instantly fell in love with a beautifull girl.
We passed eachother notes during schooltime, one note said:
J...... I love you

I still have it somewhere.
I was very shy at that point of my life, so we only did get to hold hands and walk around the school.
I was so romantic an the start of my turbulent love life.

Not long after that I kissed my first girl, it was heaven
Shortly after that I lost my virginity..
All on the same school, on wich I spend a year and a half, thank god for that school!
It saved my life!

A lot of people ask me if I'm sure I'm not bisexual, and maybe a little bit, there must be something there.
But it wil, never be as before in my puberty, and definately not as exciting, boy I do sometimes get really hard thinking about it...

How did you develop on this subject? Especially in your childhood, because I also remember that the first person I ever fell in love with at age 8, was also a boy. I was more or less addicted to my BMX, always crossing through the neighbourhood, after I met Him there were two of us, he was much loder than me I thought and he always rode upfront at each corner saying: in here, in here, and I never got if he ment eft or right so I had to stay behind him.

I fell in love with his washingproduct: Ariel.

It was raining and he offered me shelter by holding his coat up.
And that wonderfull smell of expensive wahingpowder TOTALLY intoxicated me!

 (now that I think about it later I think he was gay and other people Ive had experiences with (14-16jrs), turned out to be gay too.).
Till this day I'm still confused why me, Why did i have to have these abnormal experiences? 
Well atleast I think it's normal and enriching. 

Tha guy that accused me of being gay, turned out to be a DEFINATE HOMOSEXUAL. I have absolute nothing against that, I just didn't understand, to me it was just sex and discovering! But HIS parent where jehovas (you know, church people). So they basically would reject him if they found out. He fled in to drugs and lying. Sad story, he couldn't even remember his name a few years later.

Jochem
HiddenPleasure HiddenPleasure
31-35, M
Jul 18, 2010