My Mom. My Sister, And II didn't know any different....
My mom had me when she was 15 and I never knew my dad. I had a great family life while growing up including traveling, growing vegetables in the garden, etc. Just the three of us. I don't remember my mom ever dating or having men around. It's just something I didn't grow up with. The three of us were very close.
Through my adult years, I've suffered from sexual addiction. This has caused problems in every relationship I have had and has led to some frightening experiences. I have a daughter who is 15 now and don't know who her father is. Just another one night stand in a long series of one night stands. I'm not proud of it but love my daughter deeply.
Recently, at 40 years old, I'm having memories surface that I'm not sure are real or imagined. I remember having sex with my mom and my sister when we were growing up. My earliest memories of sex were messing around with my girlfriends in jr. high. Lately though, I remember my mom touching me and me and my mom teaching my sister about sex. I remember knowing things and being far more experienced than my friends in jr. high and high school and this seems to explains it. I don't remember being scared or "abused" feeling and don't think I knew that this was any different from the norm at the time.
My sister suffered from depression as an adult and took her own life several years ago. I don't know if she remembered and this was the cause of her depression. We just never talked about it.
I would like to think that these memories aren't real but they explain so much about me. Could I have made up these memories to answer questions that I don't have answers for?
As an adult, we're supposed to have control and have answers. I don't have either right now.
MaryLuv 36-40, F 3 Responses 5 Oct 1, 2011