It All Blurs Together

My heart has been breaking at least once a day from 2/12/09 on. She betrayed be horribly, and so did he. I heard a different facet of the story every day. It's been a while, because the last and worst bit of it is now out.

My husband and my best friend (who told me she was in love with me and him) cheated. They want to be together. He is still with me, but he is going through the heartbreak of losing her. She is talking bad to him about me now. They shouldn't be talking at all, but they are. I'm too afraid to insist he end it with her completely, like cut contact. I'm afraid it will push him to her.

I don't want her to win and I don't want to lose him. My heart breaks for the loss of her. She was my best friend and my lover. I fell in love with her. And now, I feel it was all a lie... her love. I fell in love with Deceit.

And if I lose him too, what will I be left with. Each day my heart breaks for the loss of her, and for the uncertainty of him. He doesn't touch me anymore, he is sad all the time, he is hurting. He doesn't have the ability or presence of mind to see my hurt...

Surujen Surujen
31-35, F
2 Responses Mar 10, 2009

One of the questions to ask yourself is your motivation for holding onto him. Why do you want to be with someone who cheated? What will you gain from holding onto him? Do you have the strength of mind to persevere until the end when the relationship is back together? This is assuming it will be. When a relationship suffers infidelity rarely can it be repaired. If the victim places the perpetrator in continuous remorse and the perpetrator cannot oblige then the relationship is stuck and will not move forward. Is it truly him you want to be with or fear of being alone?

From an outsider point of view, his heart is already with her. You only have his shell, talk to him, ask him to go to her, that way he may find his happiness. I know it will hurt you but if you love him, let him go, let him go to "somewhere where he feels his heart belong". <br />
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The worst we can do is to keep them with us when they no longer are mentally with us. <br />
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The truth is, when he is with you, he will think about her; when he is with her, he will (might) think about you. Would you rather be with him and know he is thinking about her or would you rather know he is thinking about you and you don't have to feel the insecurity of the situation has brought?