All Hail The Heartbreaker

This will be the first time I'm sharing this story, ever. No one quite understands, and they probably never will.

Two years ago, I fell in love. I fell in love with someone from a reality tv show. I know, it seems ridiculous. But there is a story here. I didn't fall in love with him until after I had met him and he had won me over with his songs he wrote for me. We met in the summer of 2008. He demonstrated a general interest in me...and we hung out privatley outside of a big group a few times. He promised me that he would come visit me, and even said that we would be together. here is where my naiveness comes in: I believed him. I waited for him. We would chat once and a while, but we grew more distant. Until February 2009, when he told me that he would be in my town. I went to see him, and again, things were perfect. We held each other close and he told me he thought of me every day. For the next few months, we became closer. I even flew across the country to see him, and we shared a tearful goodbye in which he held his hands on my waist and said he would be coming to see me soon. That summer, I kept waiting for him to call, or to come visit. He recorded songs for me, sent me sweet emails, and PROMISED he would get here when he could. I did the same for him- I supported his career in every way possible and was basically his manager for a few months. I was stupid enough to believe him, and to fall in love all over again with every thing he did for me. Up until January, I was still very much in love, and still putting up with the ups and downs he put me through, including a time when he reached out to me beause he was depressed. He told me I was perfect and that he couldn't wait until things settled down so we could finally officially be together. In February, I got a call that he was engaged. ENGAGED.To a girl I did not know. I was so disgusted I threw up from crying. I stopped talking to him...and just a few weeks ago, he emailed me to ask for my help for something. I stood up for myself, told him I wasn't going to help him anymore and explained to him how absolutley hurt I was. He responded in a way I was not expecting- mature. He gave me answers, and begged for my forgivness. I forgave him.

Two days later, I got a call that made me crumble to the ground in tears. I found out that during that SAME summer of 2008, not only was he hanging out with me and leading me on, but there were other girls. He told them similiar things, right up until we ALL found out he was engaged. I have never been so hurt in my life. I felt so stupid for falling for him and letting him lead me on...through all his songs, words, looks, etc. I never want to see him again...and that is probably what hurts the most. Just a year ago I would have given anything to spend the rest of my life with him. Now, I don't even want to hear his name...but I have to, because he still shows up in the spotlight every once in a while.
NatalieMarie1cc NatalieMarie1cc
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 15, 2010

Sometimes we have to be hurt before we realize that something might not be good for us. And, to quote my favorite poet "For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth."