First of all I would like to thank those who take the time to read this. It took me all of my willpower to go seek out help for this is an experience I have a hard time talking about.

I had been dating my girlfriend for almost 2 years and I had never been in such a happy relationship. She literally was my other half and everyone I asked said we were two halves of a whole. We had plans on moving in together and dreams of getting married and having children. This was a woman who I would do anything for and trust with every one of my secrets. I felt like my life couldn't be anymore perfect.

However, this summer that all changed. She struggles with anxiety and PTSD from her dad's death. I have been there for her every step of the way and helped to support her on the way to recovery. I can't do all the work though and she failed to see that. Whenever I wouldn't be able to help her she would get mad at me and would honestly act like she lost her mind. She was experiencing a lot of stress in her life and it was overwhelming her. These triggered her disorders and caused her anxiety and depression to increase; I started to feel overwhelmed as well. These factors started to affect our relationship and we constantly argued, fought, and were unhappy with each other. After a while we decided to take a break and work to resolve our personal issues and make ourselves happy so we can make each other happy. She resolved to take control of her anxiety by seeking out help and improve her self esteem. I resolved to get back on track with school and study anxiety and depression to help me cope with her disorders. It seemed like things were going to get better as it seemed we were fully determined to make things right.

Three days after we resolved to do this I went over to a friend's house and I talked to him about what was going on. I got a phone call from her and I answered it. She informed me that she had invited one of her guy friends over and that she had cheated on me with him. I had told her when we started dating that cheating on me is the only way to break my trust and she had done it. I told her that I'm breaking up with her and not to speak to me for a while. I plan on trying to forgive her since I'm terrible at holding grudges. That was about three weeks ago and I'm still working on that. That isn't what I'm struggling with though; it's myself I'm struggling with. I felt like my heart was ripped in half. Here was a woman that I gave everything for, supported every step of the way, and loved unconditionally to the point where I visualized a life together with her...and she cheated on me. She was my other half and when I said we were broken up she took the other half of my soul. I'm trying to get it back and have had no luck. I'm borderline depressed and have no energy to go do the things I love to do. My family and friends do their best to support me but offer no helpful advice as to what to do.

So that's basically what my question is for everyone...where do I go from here and who or what can I go to for help/advice? I've never had to deal with this before so I ask that you please be understanding of that. Thank you and have a good day.
paschall1993 paschall1993
22-25, M
Aug 19, 2014