Hooray For Gaping Wounds In My Face!

Never thought you'd hear someone shout for joy about having deep, bloodless pits of agony carved in their jawline, did you?  Well, I can tell you that my ninja-of-the-mouth dentist is getting tired of hearing about it.  (I had quite a morbid fascination with the bits of broken teeth he wrenched from my wretched maw.)

For nearly five years, I had two decimated teeth in the right side of my head - both wisdom teeth - which had broken on hard candy (lower) and bread (upper).  Not having a low tolerance for pain, I just started chewing on the other side until, rather quickly, I wound up smashing to dust the upper wisdom tooth on the left side.


So, I lived with what amounted to pus-filled, oozing wounds in the back of my mouth (and the occasional pain-migraine) until I moved back to Maryland and found a job with great benefits.  95% non-emergency, $20 deductible dental coverage is the feline's posterior region, let me tell you.

Turns out, the ones on the bottom right and upper left were beyond the point where he was able to "extract" them, and they would have to be surgically removed... in tiny pieces... in what he said would take "maybe hours."  Fortunately for me, I have the world's most singularly awesome dentist (fortunately, not like Dr. Gabriel from 10.09.2006's Penny Arcade); he was able to slice open those bastards and yank out all the nasties, sunder the remaining necrotic masticator with his pliers, and irrigate the festering, putrid filth from underneath in 45 minutes flat.  No pain, no swelling, and three dissolvable stitches.  Take that, Cavity Creeps.  The Doc is now on the job for all my (now only routine) dental work, and will be for the forseeable future (unless this new gig's dental isn't all it's cracked up to be).
NotWilliamShatner NotWilliamShatner
26-30, M
2 Responses Oct 10, 2006

Nice, this was the most exciting wisdom tooth extraction story I've read all day!

Ewww.... LOL!<br />
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I can't believe you chewed your own teeth to dust. Wow. That took talent.<br />
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Can you expand upon the "pain migraines?" Before I got my wisdom teeth removed, I used to have these horrible, stay-in-bed-for-2-days head/neck/shoulder aches (now much improved, thank goodness). You mean that happens to other people too?