Nightmares Whilst Awake

I had a bad trip on a ship due to numerous reasons other than my work colleagues.


Nearing end there was an explosion and several people were killed or injured.  Most of these where blast damage including several people being shattered into several pieces. we had to fight a fire moving between the body parts. The owner offered no assistance and initially it did not appear necessary.


After 6  months I began to have what could be described either as waking nightmares or hallucinations


It is difficult to described this  but I will try.  An example could be I would be talking to a person, whilst having the conversatin I would begin to imagine  that person being damaged. It would not be visual, or even physical, instead I would be imagining the despair a person would feel as he realises he is being irreperably damaged. The loss of hope etc. Anouther might be if I got to the top of the stairs I would imagined in a similarway falling down the stairs and the damged being doen to the body.


Because of this my sleep pattern was destroyed and I was sleeping be exhaustion only. I had no desire to eat, however I realised the significance for this so forced myself


This went on for 12 months.


I then watched the film ,  The Fisher King. The significant part was the mental illness suffered by the character played by Robin  appeared to him as a black Knight on a horse that chased him.


The importance of this was the suggestion that these nightmare/hallucinations were an event. i.e. there was a begining, the even and then an ending.


I then began to recognise the onset of these and woud allow them to run there course knowing there would be an ending.


It was not instantaneous, but pretty close, within a month I had began to function basically normal.


Although these 'events' let me know they still exist, it is so rare that I honestly cannot remember the last time


 


brianbt brianbt
41-45, M
Nov 10, 2006