Our Ideal Marriage

I feel that I must attempt to put right some contrasting views of my open marriage style. I must admit that although I have had many messages expressing their support for my apparent “sluttish” behaviour, I have also received almost as many messages condemning my actions. Why can’t people accept that a love of sex is NOT something to be despised and attacked. I find no difference between a man having multiple partners and a woman acting similarly, especially when the husband of the woman encourages his wife to have multiple partners in sex.

This was my dilemma when Richard, my husband, was involved in a terrible car crash and almost lost his libido completely, and was certainly impotent for quite a while. Richard knew of my sky high libido from a year prior to our marriage and for the first five years of the marriage itself with almost daily penetration love sessions, and he therefore realised what a challenge it would be for me to exist without satisfactory sexual intercourse.

His brilliant idea to ask his best friend Steve to ‘look after me’ certainly came as a wonderful surprise to both Steve and myself.

Although Richard’s reason for suggesting that his wife and his best friend should engage in penetration sex stemmed from his fear that I would be unable to manage the months of sexual abstinence, he actually began to enjoy seeing us naked together with Steve entering me sexually - as we did on many occasions in his private room at a convalescent home. I must add here that I would have withstood any doubts regarding a sexless marriage if the aforementioned suggestion had not been made - for the simple reason that I loved my husband deeply, and still do for that matter, and would have been a loyal wife satisfied with self satisfaction while her husband was in his impotent state.

I know many will think that I am not telling the truth . They would be mistaken. My many subsequent sexual encounters have been actively encouraged by my husband - even after he managed to regain at least part of his sexual ardour - and he openly admits to loving seeing other men ******* me with the strength and gusto that he used to have. Our marriage is - in our eyes - absolutely perfect!

Why can’t people accept that a marriage can exist successfully in many different ways. Is it a satisfactory situation for loving couples to live in a sexless marriage - whether caused through accident, illness or plain boredom - when satisfaction can be gained through sharing the wife? I carefully stipulated ‘loving’ couples. Couples who are deeply in love but for one reason or another cannot mutually enjoy the fruits of their naked sexual intercourse.

I now firmly believe in the wife sharing in which I am now involved. Not only does it ‘satisfy’, when he is able or available to watch, Richard’s loving voyeuristic ambitions, it also satisfies mine and many of his male friends and acquaintances ‘need’ for relief of their sexual frustrations. I realise that some of his workmates and golf buddies don’t like him watching them **** his wife, and on those occasions Richard does not demand voyeuristic permission, but allows us to **** in private. I much prefer him to watch me kissing, cuddling and being entered sexually, as this gives added pleasure to the whole situation - I love him and want him to be part of it all despite not actually joining in.

Richard openly expresses his delight at how many men have ****** me since the fateful car crash - and I in turn am delighted at the way I followed my darling husband’s original suggestion with such enjoyment. I have always loved sex and hope I always will. Whether it be with my husband or his many friends and acquaintances. We often sit down and try and count the men who have ****** me, and indeed how many times I have been satisfactorily ******. The resulting numbers are extremely high and I am justly proud of my involvement.

We happily talk about which men I particularly enjoy inside me. Men with whom I enjoy a mutual ******. Men who arouse me with their gorgeous kissing. Men who spend time in foreplay to arouse me perfectly for penetration - these are naturally my favourites, and best friend Steve is one of them.
Steve is like a second husband to me and enjoys coming round and cuddling me on the sofa as we all watch television, just as much as ******* me. We kiss and cuddle quite openly and naturally in front of Richard, often before or after undressing completely and making love.

I emphasise ‘making love’ and not just *******. I **** his others friends and workmates, but with both Richard, when he is able, and with Steve I ‘make love’. There is a subtle difference! My TWO ‘husbands’ are always attempting to bring joy and happiness into my life, and they both succeed in their different ways. I am a girl who loves to be enjoyed and ****** by men. A girl who is thankfully entered on almost every day I am physically able - I avoid sex on my few days of the female ‘curse’ - either by one or many men.

If this condemns me as a ‘****’ then sobeit. But I would fight fiercely in a court of law to defend my actions as those of a loyal wife who just happens to enjoy the sex suggested - and enjoyed - by her loving husband. It takes all sorts to make a marriage work. I firmly believe that Richard and I have found a truly wonderful and extremely satisfying compromise.
taniadanielstania taniadanielstania
36-40, F
19 Responses May 18, 2012

I couldn't agree more my husband loves seeing me get ****** by other men and both of us realize the difference between ******* and making love. Besides my husband there are only two other men I make love too the rest it is just fun and *******.

Well said Tania , You and your husband and your enjoyment is all that matters

Hey, you are so right! Love your attitude...BTW, you and hubby sound like me and my love...

<p>I've said this before. As long as it is your choice and under your control, then your sex life is your business.</p>

Well said

I agree completely with you and the comments below. Your husbands, friends and neighbours are lucky to have you.<br />
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The people who condemn you are the ones who have the problem. It is when one has to hide and lie and sacrifice oneself out of 'guilt' or 'shame' that we all are lessened.

Wow ! Nice

not much to add... i agree! my wife may play around, but that has nothing to do with our relationship-we love each other completely, but sex with other people is for purely for pleasure...

There is a very old saying which goes something like "whatever goes on between a man and his wife in their bedroom is no one's business but thier own". Over the years, I have modified it somewhat and now quote it as "whatever willingly goes on between a man and his wife behind the doors of thier home, is no one's buisness but the two of them, and whomever else they invite in".<br />
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I personally dislike the term ****, as to me it implies loose and reckless sexual behavior. What you describe as you and your husband's lifestyle, is far from that. What you do, you do together, with full knowledge and benefit to both. I find that mutually loving and giving, not slutty.<br />
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Anyway, don't lose too much sleep on the disapproving comments of others. Read the advice, judge it accordingly, ignore and throw away what you don't agree with, and keep what you agree with.<br />
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I hope and trust you will continue to have a mutually beneficial and loving relationship. And I look forward to reading more about it.<br />
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Thanks for sharing - TWOF

personally, my wife and i don't use the word '****' in a bad way...it's part of the playing around...

I agree with repairman that your explantion is not necessary at all. The relationship that you and your husband is certianly understandable. I applaud him for his concerns about your needs and not his own when his accident happened. This in itself tells of the love that he has for you. I think that it's wonderful that you are taking care of each others needs in a very loving and compassionate way.

Yours is a remarkable Story. It fits the "hotwife" and "cuckolding" ideal, to me. That means that not everyone will understand and accept it, and that is OK too. Everyone has their own way of looking at and experiencing life. My wife would condemn you. I would embrace you (and spend the night, with Richard watching ;) ). <br />
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People who operate out of fear often also express judgement. They almost cannot help themselves. They think that anyone who sees life differently from them must be "wrong". That is true regardless of the culture or religious system. It is not a consequence of puritanical Christianity. You would find the same challenges in Hinduism, Buddhism, and probably atheism. If you were Muslim you would already have been stoned. There are a multitude of choices people must make. I respect those who make choices different from mine.

wow--what a wonderful wife ur to stand by the sid of ur man, even when he is down.. HE is the lucky one to have such a prize, if all woman wee like u, men would not **** around on their wifes; and they would have a moer healthy sex life and relationship.

How on earth could any one care what you do if your not doing it with them or their spouse?

I wish that were true - but in this life there are far too many folks eager to 'rubbish' others who they feel are different to themselves. I actually apologise if we meet folks who are openly embarrassed by my nudity on country walks though, as THEY deserve my apologies for thrusting my 'unwanted' nudity upon them. Fortunately for me they are few and far between.

I think your a very lucky woman to have such an understanding husband I too wish I were your husbands friend cause I would love to satisfy your oralyI could make you climax as much as penatration does

dot worry about what people say<br />
they are just jealous of your lifestyle<br />
not many people could have such a strong relationship that you and your hubby have to be able to have such an exciting lifestyle so they are simply jealous<br />
i for one am happy for you and your hubby and wish i had a wife like you

Not that I can add anything original here, but I see your situation as about as near to IDEAL as anything I could ask for at my age. I admire the two of you in your ability to evolve into such a loving relationship with a friend without diminishing your marriage. Thanks for sharing your story.

What a nice arrangement! There's no need to degrade pleasure. It's refreshing to hear of couples that have strong and endearing love for each other and share the trust of your love. Thanks for sharing :-) dc

If u & ur man r happy why do u care what others think?

I read your story, and what I hear was love, and caring from all concerned. I applaud you, your husband, and his best friend. The other men are all so very fortunate to have a friend like you and your husband. As far as the naysayers just remember that some people are sicker than others.