A Page Of My Diary ( About A Terrible Day)

it was a difficult day, I have to cry but I really don't want to
I feel that I am unuseful, I am not doing anything!!I just want to die, I wish I could be in a place in the sky watching people fighting each other, struggling for life...I just want to watch them and smile!!I feel that I don't belong to this world, I don't deserve the chance given to me in this life!!
I hate myself, I am sick of my days
if only I were an angel sitting in the seventh sky , and far away from human beings...
what a happiness!!
I am wondering if I will be able to go to the heaven, am I a good person??
I feel cold, numb, lost, fearful...
I really want to live, to be happy, to be sure that I'll reach the heaven,
something called peace is missing in my life....
now I am crying, this is normal, I am not a good person, I am not lucky and I am not patient,people hate me and no one needs me...
but I don't have choice!I'll fight, fight till the last, while I am breathing, I'll fight, I'll tell the world at a high voice,I am here, I'll tell the demons that gather to destroy my faith, I have faith taht I'll do something, someday I will tell myself I am fine and I feel good.I am useful.I am here and I am proud of myself, and if Iwon't succeed,I'll tell my self and I'll tell the world:it's not my fault it's life,there has to be winners and losers and if I were choosen to be a loser, it's okay with me ^^
holysoul holysoul
22-25, F
1 Response Jul 9, 2010

I see your point ! but that day I was lost and I was sad<br />
But the only thing that cheers me up and renew my hope is that I believe in that safe place where there's no harm and where there's no pain ^^<br />
<br />
and I totally agree with you about the last sentence.<br />
Thanks for ur sweet words :)