My friends didn't careThe last time I had a party was when I was 7 you can read about what happened in another story by me (now uploaded, title: "Want to forget but can't"), I wanted people to make a fuss since I was 14 to which although I was an adult I still wanted attention because I didn’t feel important on the only day I could celebrate.
At the age of 18 (how sad was this) I bought myself a birthday card and asked friends and teachers to sign it because no-one had cared. A few years later when I turned 21 another important birthday I once again got myself a card and I asked people to sign it out of 20 people only 4 signed it 4!!! Those days were totally ruined and I was at college at the time and I thought **** it if I can’t have a day when no one cares then I might as well just go home and I left the class room sobbed in one of the abandoned rooms on the 3rd floor then went home and never came back that day I had even made the effort to drop the most easiest of hints I was desperate for someone to at least try, yet everyone seemed to be interested in something else.
I felt so unloved from my family, my friends seemed to have family things, I felt like smashing my head against a brick wall and just ending my life.
Once again my 22nd birthday no-one seemed to care, non of my friends sent one, even though after over 15 years together you would have thought they knew it. My younger brother was determined to ruin it which he did and I ended up sitting in the back garden crying, they made an effort with a cake which was good but only so they could ruin it and when I dug the knife into it, it burst like a balloon and nearly made me deaf and I just left the room in disgust oh and btw there was no real cake and no real love or care, I take many things to heart I thought maybe they had made an effort but no.
So what to do next April when I become 23, well I want my younger brother away from me because he will ruin it I don’t want my family there because they will ruin it, and tbh my friends aren’t going to bother anyway so I going to go somewhere away from them because if I stay and they do throw me a party it will be like Mr Krabs for his daughter Pearl and it will be so cheap that there will be a cake made out of cardboard and the rest I don’t want to think about.
I’m not asking for the world nor am I asking for rich kid toys like a quad bike or anything expensive I just want a birthday when people will care I think now the only true people I have are on EP
I never felt so upset in my life, and the birthday cards I asked my friends to sign in I still have but every time I read them I feel like just ******* accepting that nothing matters anymore with ppl.
All of my birthdays since my 6th have been horrible, nothing, zilch, as in it doesn’t even register in my happy times yet I am not happy because these years were wasted and I can’t do anything.
Admittedly on my 8th there was a clown (I never liked clowns they scared me) and a beast in a cage and this clown let the beast out of the cage I didn’t know at the time it was a quad suit and when I turned around because I was facing away from it because of my fear of the clown it came up behind me mounted me and then when I turned around I fainted.
I have decided that on my Birthday I just want to be alone because that way I know that nothing could go wrong and I would sing happy birthday to myself then cry.