2010

I know its jumping the gun a little to make this claim when im only 1/4 through my life, yes i will live to be 100 :P, but 2010 would be tough to beat.

Now many MANY people have had worse years than this, but i mean it would be tough for ME to beat my 2010.

In 2010 i was depressed, i mean borderline suicidal, self-harming*, so strung out that i couldnt even read any more (it took me 2 hours to read a paragraph of my lecture notes), not eating or sleeping depressed. On top of this my best friend died for no reason, just dropped dead, i was living with absentee housemates, i was failing my degree, i fell in love with my 2nd best friend and was shot down, (yea i know, love and depression at the same time, she was that amazing, my 1 ray of light at the time) i lost at least half of my friends just after my best friend's funeral, they acted so disgracefully at his wake i haven't spoken to them since, still not many friends left after that, i had a mini-nervous breakdown during my exams, i spent a night sitting in a corner crying, blubbering incoherently with my mind going in a loop, the pressure in my degree was insane, i was failing, but i would never forgive myself if i did. I still have no clue how i got up the next day and took an exam. I got kidney stones that lasted a month, from the beginning of December  right through Christmas. i was suffering from chronic headaches, and all this whilst i was too prideful to ask for any help, emotional or otherwise, or even let anyone know how much i was suffering, i mean they could tell i was suffering, but i managed to hide how much. It was pretty much the pride alone that let me get through all that, but seriously, year of hell, everything that could go wrong did, even my bicycle broke every week..

I feel like i aged 10 years in 2010. I am a completely different person to who i was before it. I wouldnt take it back. I dont wish to undo my past, i like who i am now, and 2010 is a big part of that, a horrifying part... but i couldnt live through it again, especially if i insisted on handling it all myself like i did first time round.

*Minorly self-harming, im practical, i made sure i did no permanent damage.
MrWinstonSmith MrWinstonSmith
26-30, M
1 Response Dec 15, 2012

That's a pretty ****** year. A tough year can drain you but you can still bounce back while you're young.

*bounce*