My Step Son Wears Diapers

Courtesy of his bio mother actually. He has been a bedwetter since he was 6 and even more so since my husband and his mother got a divorce three years ago. She had custody and my husband would get him on some weekends when we were dating. I bonded with him almost immediately and I knew that he was a bedwetter and wore night diapers. After we got married 2 years ago, I was noticing that he was becoming very withdrawn and was not as happy camper when he would come over. Then one Friday afternoon, she pulled up to drop him off for the weekend and I heard them pull up. I went to the porch and she was at the back seat pulling him out of the car. To my shcok he was just in a diaper and a tshirt with a pacifier clipped to it. He was fighting her an bawling loudly and she was verbally abusing him and telling him he was acting like a baby and that why he had a diaper on. I was mortified and ran to the car and told him I was there. I got him out of the car and pulled him close and took him back to the house. He was crying uncontrollably. She threw a diaper bag on the ground and said "there are some diapers for the baby" and got in the car. I went back and picked the bag up and took them in. We sat down and I comforted him and got him to quiet down and told him I would get his clothes out. All she had packed for him were diapers and tshirts. I got him something to drink and a wash cloth and finally got him calm. He told me that for the past couple of weeks that she had been making him wear only diapers and t shirts and had the paci clipped on all the time. He said she made him sleep in a crib and told him that if he was oing to pee like a baby then she was going to treat him like one. He was crying when he told me and my heart just broke for him.

When dad got home he was irate to say the least. I told him to stay with the boys, (I have a son that was 5) that I would be right back. I went to WalMart and bought him some clothes and underwear and brought them home. I ran water and told him to take a bath as I pulled the diaper off him and then he could get dressed. He did and when he was dressed again, he was almost a new boy. We went for pizza and tried to help him to forget.

That night I told him that he did not have to wear a diaper to bed if he did not want to but he said that it was okay to wear because otherwise he would wet the bed. I helped him get ready for bed and diapered him and held him close for a while. He told me he wanted me to be his mother from now on and I just started bawling like a baby myself.

Needless to say, my husband had some choice words for his ex on the phone and that next week he petioned the court for sutody of his son. It was a battle but I had the foresight to write down everything and while the court stopped short of labelling her a child abuser, we did gain full custody of him about 6 months later after all the surveys of our home life and what kind of parents we would be.
stepmomofboys stepmomofboys
31-35, F
11 Responses Jan 31, 2012

After than experience you are lucky that he is content to continue using diapers at night. If this ever ceases to be the case, try "Pjama Pants" (note the spelling). Google this exact phrase: "Pjama - Pyjama pants against bedwetting". They are the latest thing from Sweden; in appearance easily passed off as normal pyjama bottoms but well able to deal with one full bladder leaked whilst asleep, without additional diapering. The elasticated waist means it is possible for you to slip a hand inside and check for wetness before bedding down yourself, without waking the child unnecessarily if he's dry - something that's difficult to achieve if you are using either tape-fastened disposables or old fashioned terry towelling, nappy pins and plastic pants.

I am sorry he had to experience this but very proud of you and your husband for reaching out to him and taking him into your household.
You are to be commended. Thank you for sharing this with us.

Thank you very much.

I say let the kid choice but to force the kid to use them not cool

You are a hero!!!!

thank you!

"mom" was anything but a mother...verbal abuse is just as damaging as physical in my opinion...good for you and your husband, the boy has a good home.

thanks. we think so

yeah for you, you sound like a sweet loving mother, and he is very lucky to have you, and you him

Thank you.

Dear Stepmomofboys,
Thank you for your compassion. I was berated as a youngster too and I know what it's like to be 10 years old and not able to satisfy Mom no matter how hard you try. You and your husband were so wise to apply for full-time custody. I know that young ten year old will be very grateful, too, when he is an adult and able to look back and realize all the love you had for him. You are a truly wonderful person, and I'm proud to have you as a friend.

Thank you so much. That means a lot to me. I try to be the best I can with them. We are working through the issues that she caused him and thankfully she is out of his life for good now. He still has his days but he knows he is loved and has protection now from her. He has opened up now to more of what she did to him and I am shocked to say the least. If the courts knew then what I know now, they probably would have locked her up where she deserved to be.

He is a very fortunate young man and with your love and support and a little time I'm sure he will be back to being a normal kid soon. There are women and men out there who should never be allowed to have children and his biological monster is certainly one of them. Thank heavens he has you!!!

William, you sure have that right. I sometimes regret that we did not know all what she had done until afterwards just so maybe she would have served some time. But then she would be a very angry woman and try to make more trouble for us. It is bad enough that she says she has cleaned herself up and would like for us to let her visit him. No way in hell would we ever let that happen now.

Now that a few years have passed I hope you will give us an update. It seems you were certainly on the right track and I'm sure all your readers would like to know how thing are going in 2015.

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Unfortunately, things like this can happen after a bitter divorce and sons can be seen by their mothers as "little versions" of their father. My mother pulled worse crap on me than this after she and my father divorced. I would have loved to have the chance to go live with my dad, but this was back in the 70's when it was thought that placing the kids with mom would always be best.

For me, it was diapers for any bedwetting and daytime accidents, and plenty of berating for acting like a boy and being 'just like my father'. There was more that occurred as well, and since I have grown up and made my own way in the world I have cut ties with my mother.

Thank you for standing up to help a child in a situation like this. I know my stepmother is a better mother to me than my birth mother has been, and I'm glad to hear your step-son is finding the same thing out.

They was definetly berating done on her part. Many times moms do look at boys as an extension of their dads and therefore take out everything on them.

The hard part for the child is being caught up in the middle of the anger and frustration that the birth mother was taking out on them for what was seen as issues with the father. My wetting troubles were so much worse when stressed out (and still are to this day) and mom just getting angry with me about it and punishing me just made the whole thing into a bigger issue.

My mother went so far as to have me in hand-me-downs from my sister to try and 'control my boyish urges' and to make it easier to check and change my diapers. It wasn't until after a lot of therapy when I was older that I realized she did it because I was so much like my father in looks and personality that she wanted to stifle it away.

Hopefully you have averted much of the guilt and pain for your stepson as he grows up.

Thank You babijonie. Those words mean a lot to me.

anallogguy, I am sorry you had to go through what you did. I can see where a mom would and could do stuff like that because we have lived through it. Just hope my Stepson thrives on life and doesn't linger in the past anymore that he has to.

My gut feeling is that your stepson will find the strength to move forward on this because he has a father and stepmother who are helping him overcome these troubling experiences. It may be hard for him to comprehend why his birth mother could be the way she was, but fortunately he is young and the experiences, while difficult, did not go on for too long.

For me, it took many years to fully understand what and why my mother did, and the final pieces did not come together until she got frustrated with me making my own decisions on how to live my life (at 35 no less!) and got vicious and nasty towards me.

I wish you the best of luck, it sounds like you are on the road to helping him heal.

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I wish that there was more women like you.

I try to be the best mom ever!!!!

:). I would love it if you diapered me.

Would you ever be up for something like that, SMOB?

You are a terrific person and so loving to the children. I love you for it. Thanks for being one of the loving people of this world. My eyes started to water after reading your story.


Thank You. Your comments mean a lot to me.

Thank you bigjohndl. I try to be a good mother. He really is a good kid and just had some bad breaks with his bio mother. She had problems and they got worse when my husband and I announced we were getting married. It was as if she decided to take things out on Gary (my step son) to get back to her ex-husband. The child custody was a battle and she brought up everything she could about my husband and his son. The bedwetting, tried to make out she was the victim of my husband forcing her to do things she did not want to and so forth. At least the judge said that we would make the better parents. <br />
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All is better now.And his diaper wearing is by choice and not by force.

If he keeps choosing to wear diapers, would you be okay with that? How have things been in this regard lately?