The Loss Of A Dear Friend.Today i lost my dearly beloved companian Oscar. He was such a wonderful and magical creature, the best friend i could ever have hoped for and i feel blessed to have had such a wonderful soul share his life with me for the past 11 years. He had been slowing down for quite some time and i just put it down to him getting old but at the beginning of december last year he began to develop a terrible hacking cough. I thought it was just kennel cough and so did the vets who prescribed him anti-biotics but it didn't help and he rapidly got worse. I went back to the vets and they said that it may be his heart. i felt ill with worry when they said they needed to get him in for an x-ray. I took him back the next morning and they said his heart was enlarged confirming the worst - he had heart disease. They prescribed him some heart tablets and i was overjoyed that he improved really well and he was now only coughing occasionally. We had a lovely time together over the festive season and i treated him to a big christmas dinner with me. I thought all was going well and prayed we would enjoy many more months together however just after new year his cough came back with a vengeance and he began to deteriorate rapidly. The vets increased his medication but it only alleviated his symptoms and i knew it was not looking good. Night after night he lay beside me and the awful sound of his hacking coughing and wheezing broke my heart. The past few weeks have drained the life out of me and i couldnt bear to see my dear old friend suffer any more but at the same time i didn't want to give up on him. I have been in turmoil trying to decide what was the right thing to do. The past week he had barely eaten anything at all and was refusing to walk anymore only going outside to do his business and then back in again. I tried feeding him all his favourite treats but he turned his nose up at everything i offered him. These last few days i had to feed him little jars of baby food by hand. It's soul destroying to see your old friend once such a noble, strong and handsome creature suddenly look so weak, old and helpless and i had to face the fact that there was nothing more we could do for him. And so tonight i had to make the most heart breaking decision of my life and let him go. I know he was close to deaths door and i wanted to send him off peacefully and be there with him at the end to say my final farewell to him but even now i am tormented with guilt and feel like i somehow betrayed him and gave up on him. I held his little head in my hands and looked into his eyes and told him how much i loved him then i watched as the glimmer of life flickered and faded away. I feel so alone and empty without him now and can't begin to imagine my life without him.
I'll never forget you Oscar buddy. Farewell my dear old friend. I hope that someday we will be together again.
Godslonelyman 36-40 16 Responses 6 Feb 1, 2011