I Had to Put My Dog to Sleep
She was a blue tic beagle. She was a gift from my husband after the last of our fertility treatments. I saw her face in the cage at the pet store and she was mine. She also came with a terrible case of kennel cough so we did northerner voice for almost a month after she came to live with my husband, my elderly other in law, a 12 year old schnauzer(Alex) , our four year old alpha beagle(buddy) and our two year old therapy beagle (Betsy). Betsy was a working dog and left the house each day with me to work in the group home I ran at the time.
Two weeks after Brittany's arrival in our family my mother in law became gravely ill and we needed to place her in a nursing home. My husband and I had such guilt that we spent most of our time there with her and Brittany was left to be raised by Buddy, Betsy and Alex. They taught her how to use the dog door to go out in our vast fenced in yard to do her business, they taught her how to hunt, to bark at strangers, to run, to play and most of all to be part to a very close knit pack. Sadly my mother in law passed away two months later and we we left with an unruly puppy. We loved her to pieces. Her striking red hair, her long legs, and her sharps piercing bark won us over.
She loved to run and play but Alex was much too old, buddy had hunting to do and Betsy was at work. Brittany longed to have a play mate. Her wishes came true with a knock on the door. Some neighborhood kids came to the door holding the cutest little beagle wearing a collar, they thought she was one of mine...i let them know she was not. The next day, they came again, and again I told them sorry. I could see Brittany's little nose pressed against the mud room door. On the fourth time I said yes she is mine. Thati show Brittany's best friend Baylee came to live with us. Betsy and buddy could have cared less but Brittany and Baylee took to each other the first moment. They slept together, they ate in the same corner, and most important they played chase for hours and hours. And then Brittany was injured, her back leg required several surgeries. Running was not allowed anymore. They adjusted and became tug of war friends and their relationship adjusted.
Like all good things my marriage did not survive my husbands demons, Alex and buddy had passed away. After much turmoil Brittany and Baylee stayed at the house with my hubby and Betsy stayed with me at my moms so she could go to work. A year later just days before the sale of our house Betsy became gravely ill with end stage kidney disease. My husband and I made the difficult decision to end h suffering. I was living at my moms( who does not like dogs), she did not want Brittany and Baylee at her house, financially I was not able to get an apartment and my husband planned to drive cross country to find himself. I had to beg my mom to allow me to keep brottny and Baylee for just 6 months. Luckily I was able to buy my condo and take my girls to their own home where they were free to lay on the furniture and walk on the carpets.
The girls went to say camp each day so I could work. For three wonderful years I had found balance with these wonderful beagles. About a year ago the arthritis in Brittany's back leg had gotten worse, she began to have difficulty getting up and down off the furniture, so I bought little stairs, them the pain got to the loping she required medication, then two medications. She began to look shaggy, her hair was disheveled. Extensive blood work showed kidney failure, I was assured it was early ( not late stage which had taken my Betsy), due to an interaction the medication Brittany had been taking for her arthritis had to be changed to allow her to take a medication for kidneys. The pain form her arthritis became so bad that aniht medication had to be added that made her little tummy sick.
This past Thursday I picked up Brittany and Baylee from camp and was told brittany had had a bad day, she was restless, she had explosive diarreah, she was hanging her head. I took her home feeling very worried, she refused to take her meds ( in a spoon of peanut butter) and also for the first time in 15 years did not eat her supper. By morning she was unble to walk, she had had several diarreah related accidents which required three trips to the bath tub. In my heart I knew I needed to let her go. I had traveled this exact road with Betsy only I did not put Betsy too sleep initially. I made the dreaded appointment without consulting my husband who had returned form his cross country adventure. I carried my Brittany out of the condo and layed her in the front seat ( Baylee's usual spot). I arrived at the vet( my vet for many many years). He recited all the various treatments we could try. Henalso told me he had detected a heart murmor. No guarantees. I remembered the look my beloved Brittany gave me in the car on the ride over to the vet. It was the same look Betsy had given me three years before. If they could have spoken they would have told me , " please mama put me out of my misery". I spent time with my Brittany asthe first sedative took effect. She was comfortable in my arms, I reminded her to look for Betsy, Buddy and Alex. My wonderful vet came back in and started the next process, he began to administer the dose, half way through the vein burst, she was now in a coma but still alive, I could feel her heart beating in my arms. The vet readjusted and I felt the life go out of my beloved Brittany. I sobbed over her lifeless body. Still long and lean, just scruffy and disheveleled. I went home to my only dog and sobbed for hours. Today I am filled with self doubt. What if?????? What if I had agreed to more treatment, she might have has a couple more days. What if????
This was the first decision I made on my own. My rational mind knows this is all part of the healing process but my emotional mind feels I made a mistake.
Two weeks after Brittany's arrival in our family my mother in law became gravely ill and we needed to place her in a nursing home. My husband and I had such guilt that we spent most of our time there with her and Brittany was left to be raised by Buddy, Betsy and Alex. They taught her how to use the dog door to go out in our vast fenced in yard to do her business, they taught her how to hunt, to bark at strangers, to run, to play and most of all to be part to a very close knit pack. Sadly my mother in law passed away two months later and we we left with an unruly puppy. We loved her to pieces. Her striking red hair, her long legs, and her sharps piercing bark won us over.
She loved to run and play but Alex was much too old, buddy had hunting to do and Betsy was at work. Brittany longed to have a play mate. Her wishes came true with a knock on the door. Some neighborhood kids came to the door holding the cutest little beagle wearing a collar, they thought she was one of mine...i let them know she was not. The next day, they came again, and again I told them sorry. I could see Brittany's little nose pressed against the mud room door. On the fourth time I said yes she is mine. Thati show Brittany's best friend Baylee came to live with us. Betsy and buddy could have cared less but Brittany and Baylee took to each other the first moment. They slept together, they ate in the same corner, and most important they played chase for hours and hours. And then Brittany was injured, her back leg required several surgeries. Running was not allowed anymore. They adjusted and became tug of war friends and their relationship adjusted.
Like all good things my marriage did not survive my husbands demons, Alex and buddy had passed away. After much turmoil Brittany and Baylee stayed at the house with my hubby and Betsy stayed with me at my moms so she could go to work. A year later just days before the sale of our house Betsy became gravely ill with end stage kidney disease. My husband and I made the difficult decision to end h suffering. I was living at my moms( who does not like dogs), she did not want Brittany and Baylee at her house, financially I was not able to get an apartment and my husband planned to drive cross country to find himself. I had to beg my mom to allow me to keep brottny and Baylee for just 6 months. Luckily I was able to buy my condo and take my girls to their own home where they were free to lay on the furniture and walk on the carpets.
The girls went to say camp each day so I could work. For three wonderful years I had found balance with these wonderful beagles. About a year ago the arthritis in Brittany's back leg had gotten worse, she began to have difficulty getting up and down off the furniture, so I bought little stairs, them the pain got to the loping she required medication, then two medications. She began to look shaggy, her hair was disheveled. Extensive blood work showed kidney failure, I was assured it was early ( not late stage which had taken my Betsy), due to an interaction the medication Brittany had been taking for her arthritis had to be changed to allow her to take a medication for kidneys. The pain form her arthritis became so bad that aniht medication had to be added that made her little tummy sick.
This past Thursday I picked up Brittany and Baylee from camp and was told brittany had had a bad day, she was restless, she had explosive diarreah, she was hanging her head. I took her home feeling very worried, she refused to take her meds ( in a spoon of peanut butter) and also for the first time in 15 years did not eat her supper. By morning she was unble to walk, she had had several diarreah related accidents which required three trips to the bath tub. In my heart I knew I needed to let her go. I had traveled this exact road with Betsy only I did not put Betsy too sleep initially. I made the dreaded appointment without consulting my husband who had returned form his cross country adventure. I carried my Brittany out of the condo and layed her in the front seat ( Baylee's usual spot). I arrived at the vet( my vet for many many years). He recited all the various treatments we could try. Henalso told me he had detected a heart murmor. No guarantees. I remembered the look my beloved Brittany gave me in the car on the ride over to the vet. It was the same look Betsy had given me three years before. If they could have spoken they would have told me , " please mama put me out of my misery". I spent time with my Brittany asthe first sedative took effect. She was comfortable in my arms, I reminded her to look for Betsy, Buddy and Alex. My wonderful vet came back in and started the next process, he began to administer the dose, half way through the vein burst, she was now in a coma but still alive, I could feel her heart beating in my arms. The vet readjusted and I felt the life go out of my beloved Brittany. I sobbed over her lifeless body. Still long and lean, just scruffy and disheveleled. I went home to my only dog and sobbed for hours. Today I am filled with self doubt. What if?????? What if I had agreed to more treatment, she might have has a couple more days. What if????
This was the first decision I made on my own. My rational mind knows this is all part of the healing process but my emotional mind feels I made a mistake.
By:
Amala82962
Age:
46-50
,
Female
