I Never Cried So Much In My Entire Life XxThis is for my little dog, B - up in heaven above. I will always love you. Miss you loads, but you're in a better place now. Safe in heaven but you're still my little babe. RIP boy xx
He was sick for a long time, my dear B. I was so lucky to spend literally my entire life with him up until that point, my parents having him even before I was born. I was still only a child when I knew his time was nearly up. When B passed away, happiness seemed to fade with him. It was so hard to get on with things. I promised myself I wouldn't cry, but I did. I still do sometimes. The pain was like a million spears blindinng my mind. But I will not cry for B. I look back on the life we shared and now I will share it with you.
In my mind he was perfect. He was like a teddy that was hugged for eternity. His coat was worn in places. Even the skin on his ears was fading, but he was still perfect to me. Then on a spring day, he collapsed in a tired heap in his bed. That day, the day I wished would never come, passed so slowly every second was pain, agony, mind-searing torture.
I did not stay when the vet came. I couldn't bear watch my little baby die right there in front of me. I kissed his head and promised I would see him again in another life. I went away like a coward. Someone in the world wept as the needle pierced his flesh, another cried, I screamed and pain laughed. This was it. Eternal sleep. Death.
Dad dug as I sat my B. A blanket was laid over him. I lifted the blanket and for the last time in my life I placed my hand on his chest. His heart did not beat, nor did his hot breath fog my eyes. Dad picked him up and placed him in the pit he had dug in the garden. We stood around the mould of earth that had once lived and breathed. The pain, the emptiness I felt was unbearable. I just wanted to cry for a million years. I will never forget the day I let B go.
But in my mind B lives on in paradise, unharmed and perfect. He's happy with everything he needs. But when the day comes when I see him again, we will run to each other, I'll pick him up and I'll never let go. This is for you, B. I love you, pal.
Dad buried him in the garden between two trees. Part of that is not true. For I know he is buried in my heart xx