Three Days To Love

On Monday, December 10th 2012 I will have to put down my 11 year old Pomeranian that I've had since he was a puppy. He has a tumor on the muscle that controls his urge to poo. This tumor is not cancerous and we know it is not hurting him. However, if we were to have the surgery (400$ that we really can't afford) there's a 50/50 chance he will be put in a diaper. And there is no guarantee more tumors will not appear. Actually, there's a high chance more will appear. (Anywhere in his body)

Now, he's happy, healthy, and still /very/ playful. He plays like he's still a little boy and I feel so extremely guilty for taking that all away. I'm only 19 and I live 2 hours away from home at my apartment at college. There is a fee for any animals and my roommates are allergic and I cannot afford to move so I can't take him. My mother, disabled from a car accident, also cannot care for a dog in a diaper. I would take him in a heartbeat. I would take care of him and his diaper. I don't think it's an uncomfortable lifestyle but he would also be in an apartment with no yard...he wouldn't like that.

Anyway, with these factors I have made the decision to have him put to sleep and I don't have much time left with him. I don't know if this is the right decision. I have weighed all the factors and have thought about this long and hard but I still don't know. Mainly because I know he's not in pain and he's still so full of life. When I found out this morning I took off work and drove the two hours home to spend his last weekend with him. I feel like a terrible, disgusting mother for taking away the rest of his life when he's not even suffering but if he were to get the surgery and be put in a diaper, no one could care for him and he'd have to be put down then. If he didn't need a diaper, what if an even more painful tumor appeared and he died suffering? I want him to go when all he knows is being happy and healthy; not old, broken and painful.

I would like to thank everyone that reads this and I might comment with a picture of him if anyone is interested.
Iziink Iziink
18-21, F
2 Responses Dec 8, 2012

Today I had to put my 15 year old pit-bull mix down she was old an sick my kids didn't take it so well but they knew it was going to happen soon. She had fat tumors wouldn't eat and couldn't get up so we made the decision .

Sorry about your pet...there's no worst feeling then knowing you have to be the one putting your best friend down...I know the feeling I had to put my pug of 4&1/2 years down she had kidney problems here body kept retaining fluids and she lost so much weight didn't eat played at times ...on oct 22 at 530 she was put to sleep ...I cry everytime I think of it...she was my life had her since the second she was born..my child my love my best friend....people told me she's in a better place she's in doggy heaven ..back to her chubby loving playful self again...she visits me in my dreams I swear 2 days ago she popped into my dreams she gave me kisses and then left BEST FEELING EVER...I miss her to death ...my point is we are here for you...you made the right choice you care for him so much you don't want to see him suffer and tumors hurts and chemo will just make him suffer more....he's always going to be by urside he might not be with you in person bt he's will always be in ur heart ....right now he's in doggy heaven with Lana ...maybe they both rip