I Am Feeling Guilty

Oreo was a beautiful cocker spaniel,I named him Oreo because is color was black and white. He loves me very much he was very protective over me .I got a nasty divorce last year.,and my 16 years old daughter at that time want Oreo and i taught it was a good idea at the time because he had loved is home,i and i was struggling to make it on my own. However my ex and my daughter did not take care of him .I used to grief alot for him,he got so sick my daughter told me to come and get him i could't bear to see him suffering and most of all i losted my job and i have no money to pay the vet .So he was getting worst ,he stop eating you can,you can imagin what i was going through to see him like this.He used to be a lively dog full of life and fun he had love to play ball with me.He was passing alot of blood when he have to moved his bowel. I had to money to take to the vet.It was the most difficult decision i had to make in my whole life. I put him down on 5/22/2012. I have so much remorse,i can't stop crying because i could't help him and he had depend on me. I could't be there when they put him down it was too painful. But i was told that his heart was very strong,that he took a little while before he passed away.I am very sad I can't stop crying. I love him so much,i can't fortget the last kiss he gave me. He will always be in my heart .
clarethom1 clarethom1
51-55
2 Responses May 23, 2012

hi, i understand how you feel so much, i had no money for vets an good quality food the last 1,5 year and so when i got fox, my beloved smart and kind dog to the vet it was too late, he had lemphoma although he was only 6 years old, he used to live in a big garden with all the comforts, but last 1,5 year i moved to a small apartment with balcony, and worked 12h a day..., i got him on chemo to try to fight it but finally on 7th september(yesterday) i had to put him to sleep. Just please tell me if you have started to get over it beacause i am feeling desperate and so guilty, i feel like i killed my child, sorry for your loss too, Helen from Greece

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's hard to make decisions like this. Unfortunately we have to make difficult financial decisions regarding our pets. It sucks I know. But we have to be practical about what we spend our limited money on. I understand what you went through. I had a similar experience four years ago with my ten year old dog that suddenly started having seizures. Vet told me it was either a brain tumor or kidney failure and to find out which it would be several hundred dollars and that wouldn't include treatment. I made a split second decision to just have him put down. It was excruciating. He was at the moment bouncing around all happy in the vets office ready to go home. But I didn't have the money to find out what exactly was wrong and his seizures were happening several times a day. I had to made a difficult decision. I regretted it for quite some time. However, it's been four years now and I can say that I made the right decision because the knife through my heart about it is now gone and I can think with a clear head. You did the right thing. As hard as it was and is, unfortunately we have to made intelligent financial decisions because money is not unlimited. So sorry for your loss, the pain will get better. Hang in there.