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I'll Always Love Him

They called my boyfriend yesterday at his work.

They said: " You're ticket is ready. Come pick it up. You're leaving tonight."

 

"TONIGHT!!".. we weren't ready, but it was going to happen.

We spend the day together,

talking with each other, just haning out

getting his stuff ready. HIs first time ever to leave the island, be in a plane, in many foreign places, his destination Iowa.

I was worried, sad, confused, yet so proud of him. He wanted this. It is a great opportunity.

 

We went to the airport...

We forgave each other...

We still love each other very much...

But it's time.. time for what? im not sure..

growing up? living life? making it on our own? ? ?

He gave me words of wisdom, support, and his love...

I gave him the same..

We hugged, we cried, we held, but most of all, we let each other go... we said our goodbyes...

 

Im scared, confused still...

He doesn't know, nor did i know, that coming back

to a house without him would feel so... weird, empty, lonely, painful...

 

This is good for both of us, or so i keep saying. So why am i crying nonstop. I couldn't even go to our room last night. Slept on the couch, my back to our door. Can't bear to look at it. Even showering, looking at my facial wash he liked to use, made me drop to my knees and started sobbing. I dont understand!!

 

We've been through so much together in the last 6 years.. Good and Bad. Great and Worst.

 

Im broken... and i don't even know whether

I want to pick the pieces let alone put them together.

I dont know how. I don't know how long.

 

I pray he has a safe flight. I pray he doesn't get lost. I pray he's okay. I pray he doesn't get bored. I pray he doesn't go hungry. I pray he has enough money. I pray that he will be alright. I pray, and will keep on praying....

 

Lord it hurts soo much!!

21butterfly 21butterfly 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 8, 2008

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ur always welcum....n yeh the biggest heal in life is time...u giv ur self sum time to *** out of this mess....n the most wonder full gift by god is the ability to forget....n at times we curse our forgetfullness... so hope u will forget everythng as the time goes by....if i can make u comfortable by any means pls dont hesitate to msg me....<br />
regards..!!

Thank BH.. I actually wanted this whole separation thingy to grow and all that. he does his thing and i do my thing. i could have went but i chose not to. but no one said it would be this hard. I feel like im walking on shaky grounds, and every minute my eyes gets misty, my chest tightens, my head throbbing. But thank you so much. you guys have been wonderful with your support.

WOW ... u made me cry....u knw i dnt feel any of the above said , i realy feel jealous of ur bf...he got u..... he mus b the luckiest person i must say....n i swear swtheart ,he will *** back for u....becos he cant live alone n will b in similar situation as ur in....he might b making things more better to take u with him n giv u wht ever u want.....keep praying n me too prayng for u ...... i pray he *** back to asap....u guyz r blessd n patience is the most imp thng u c.... patience kame mulberry leaf into silk threads...... i wish u a very best of luck n god bless u guyz.....<br />
regards..!!

Thanks EricS.. Im don't know what the future holds, but i am just hoping for the best for the both of us. whether it be together sum day again, or jst be friends. He'll always have a special place in my heart.

That was so beautiful. I hope that your path and his are marked well, so to find eachother once again.