I Hate That I Have To Sleep.

I have thousands of different reasons why I cannot sleep. 

Sometimes it's jus because my sleep cycle is outta whack.  Ya kno, can't sleep all night, pass out in the morning, wake up late.  Then, of course I won't be able to sleep the next night.  That's where I am right now.  It usually works for me and I'm fine with it.  I used to get a boost of energy as soon as it got dark out.  Now, I have things that I can only do or get motivated for if I get up reasonably early.  I've been trying.  Lately, I wake up at 5pm, don't expect to get anything serious done, (so I'll jus do somethng random like go online or talk to friends) say I'll get things back on track 2mrw.  Take my lamyctal (supposedly can make you drowsy), pop my ambien, and I've usually had a drink an hr or two earlier.  These past few nights, I have forced myself to sleep around midnight (because of all that stuff) but I always wake up like 2 hrs later.  Tonite I managed to fall back asleep again for two more hrs, but now it's about 430am.  I took three of my xanax and I'm hoping that works because I have serious stuff to do 2day and the next.  Usually I give up around 5 or 6, which leads to me passing out at about 9am. I can't keep doing this, it's causing a lot of stress that I try to ignore.

That leads to another reason why I can't sleep sometimes.  I think too much.  I hate my brain.  For one reason or another I will end up crying or restless or having really bad anxiety rushing thru my head (this kinda reminds me of Love4life's entry).  I've only had that kinda sleep trouble about 3 or 4 times this month, but it's been a nightly thing a while back (that's one of the reasons I was prescribled xanax).  It's like as soon as I don't have anything to distract me all I can do is think, which is never good for me.

The third reason is when I can't stop/slow down.  I have no need for sleep, no need for food!  I do this and I do that and I have some strange type of energy.  I can't lay down long enough to sleep.  No complaints with this third type! ...until about the 4-5 day (I think, but you lose track of time at that point) where things start to get trippy (which is still ok), but then comes the huge crash.  I'm weak, feel like **** (way beyond ****,) and pass out wherever I am.

I also have problems sometimes with sleeping too much.

MeMena MeMena
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 4, 2010

Haha thanks! Yeah, Xany only works 2 hrs for me too. I always hope tho that if I can get to sleep in the 2 hrs, maybe jus maybe I'll continue to sleep! I mean, Amby is supposed to work too isn't it!? ...Nope lol<br />
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U sent that at 645, so are you still awake or just waking up?

Yeah... Tonight's another one of those 'I'm still awake, I give up' nights. Again. I even took 2 more xanax, so it's like... wtf? I'm thinking that if I double up the addy in a bit I can just go on campus at 730 (I never actually do anything that early) and get my 2 hrs of research work knocked out. But I still won't be able to do any work on my thesis, I'm sure, because I will pass out as soon as I get back to the apt. And the thesis work is the most important of my things to do.