And Here's Why...

Today I was supposed to go to my local job centre for an appointment at 16:40.

So I leave the house at 15:30 to get the 15:45 bus into town.

Obviously, people are just finishing school, there's a primary school down my road and a high school about 15 minutes away from where I live.

Groups of people make me nervous - so already I'm feeling a little tense.

I sit at the bus stop for a bit, then I hear this chanting - I turn around and see 6 people coming towards the bus stop. There are two girls around my age, a man in his mid twenties, a young teenage boy of about 14 and a kid, who can't be much older than 3 or 4. Anyway, I can hear the chanting more clearly now. Explicit and derogatory words, and yep, they're at me.

Then they sit on the seats next to me and the teenage boy starts firing questions at me, most of the crude, some of them sarcastic and demeaning. He then circles around me and mutters something, his friend laughs.

They pick up some branches from the patch of grass behind the bus stop and start 'fighting' each other. Then the boy jumps and grabs the roof of the bus shelter next to me, kicking me in the process. He laughs and jumps down, proceeding to spit (deliberately) in front of me, directly in front of my feet.

I waited for a few minutes and then took out my phone, pretending I had a text, without a word I got up and left.

I could hear them calling after me and tears were already pricking the corners of my eyes.

I don't know why this always happens to me but it does, I don't look like the elephant man or anything, and even if I did that's no excuse for the intimidating behaviour they displayed towards me.

So I'm home now, my mum answered the door, and I was in tears. I told her what happened and she told me I was "pathetic" and I needed to deal with things like that - "I'd fu.cked everything up again" and perhaps she should have me committed to a mental hospital.

I can hear her downstairs now - bitching about me.

I feel so trapped and useless, people think I'm pathetic. I don't know what I do to warrant this type of response, I'm not rude or aggressive, I'm actually quite friendly, I give up my seat for old people and I hold open doors...

I'm not a doormat, I stand up for my beliefs - but it gets tiring having to constantly defend yourself from a barrage of abuse, from family, associates, and random people in the street.


To be quite honest, I'm not sure why I bother.





SaharaOdeil SaharaOdeil
22-25, F
1 Response Mar 18, 2009

just be yourself babe and **** everyone else :-) its your life. do what you want to do babe x stay happy x