My Father Etc.,etc, Etc & So On

that's all I kmew growing up. Not me I watched my father beat my mother on a regular basis. of course we rarely kept a telephone so my friday nights or whatever night he chose I was running to neighbor and or the police telephone that was on the light poll  across the street. My main thought thru the years was why mom stayed????? I was 13 when it was finally the last time, 3 pounds of frozen hamburger to her head. then I found myself in similar situations, but I fought literally my way out of it., but I believe I still carry  barriers & strong opinions that will not let be close in a relationship. Maybe lack of trust I really don't know. One thing has stayed with is the feeling of always being alone no matter who or how many people surround me I am over 50 and the feeling is always there.

stilltrying77 stilltrying77
46-50, F
Mar 12, 2010