I Can't Do This Anymore!

I haven't been able to get my husband out of bed for the last two days.  He said he was sick.  I wanted to believe him, but my heart knows better.  After he went in the bathroom i searched the room.  Under the bed was an empty bottle of vodka.  I can't even cry anymore. Or get angry.  I didn't even confront him. What could I say to him that I haven't already said a hundred times. 

He has two DUI's within the last 5 months.  He's been in rehab, he's in an out-patient program now, he goes to AA meetings, he sees a shrink, he's on anti-anxiety/depression medication and he is (at least he was a few days ago) on Anti-abuse meds.  I took all his credit cards and all his money.  And he is passed out right now. 

We have two young children.  I'm the only one working right now. He was laid off almost a year ago.  I don't know what I'm going to do.  I want to leave him but I don't believe that is the right thing to do.  I'm a born-again Christian and I want to do God's will.  I really do.  But I feel like I am going to lose my mind!!  I cant take this anymore!!!! 

noeled noeled
36-40, F
2 Responses Mar 5, 2010

i am so sorry you are going through this. I have watched my aunt stick by my uncle for years and I often have thought it might have been better for all of them if she would have left years ago. My uncle is finally clean for almost two years now but his addiction did a number on all three of his kids and even on me. She worked and we had to go get the kids plenty of times. I am christian too but i think you have to do what is best for you and your kids. i believe god will understand

be careful, i know the christian thing to do is to stick by your husband but my mom did this and if she would have left my dad when she saw he was a alcoholic us kids might have had a much better life. i wish you the best. try to get support.