Apparently Those Who Are Transgender Are Not Allowed Either If You Were Not Born A Woman

I live with my partner and have three kids that are biologically mine but after a failed marriage I realized that I was not going to be happy in a relationship with a woman so I became openly gay. For years I had struggled with my sexuality and am now at a point where I don't really identify with either gender but I there are times when I feel more female than I do male. In my relationship I am definably more of the wife and mother. And since I have full custody of my kids I thought that cafe*** would be a great place to get advice and talk to other moms. I made an account and even told everyone that I was a female because I knew the way that they were and didn't want thrown off. Well, I made the mistake of posting a poem on my profile that one of the women apparently Googled, which brought her to my blogger account and faceb**k age and she discovered that I was actually a male. I was bombarded with e-mails after that from various members, and this one member started posting links to my blog and faceb**k page all over the site, I asked her not to do that because I didn't really want anyone to know about my transgender type feelings but every time I erased one of the links that she had posted in my groups and journal pages she would immediately post another one. At one time she posted ten of them in a row. They started calling me a troll and accusing me of being other so called trolls that they have had banned before but keep coming back. The bad thing was that I had even avoided answers because of these women but she still went to my profile and started checking me out. I guess they do that to all new members, because they think all new members are trolls that are there to cause problems. All I wanted was just to join a group for moms with autistic children. Maybe, join a good depression support group for moms and have someone to talk to. I wasn't ready to tell my family that I actually feel like a woman and I thought the anonymity on this site would give me what I needed but instead they blew my identity out of the water and outed me to everyone without my permission. I can see if I was a dude that was there to cyber or cause issues with people, but my issue was that I felt like a woman inside and wanted to explore that part of myself, safely. There was no chance of me trying to "hook up" or date any of them. I'm gay and happily so. The thing that gets me is that how did they know that my facB*** and blog was really me? I could have easily been a woman pretending to be a man. The thing is, they bashed me and spread rumors about me before they even took the chance to ask me what was really going on. When the cafe*** admin came to me because I was reported for being male, I explained to them the truth that I felt like a female inside, though I was physically male. I even told them that I was considering a gender reassignment surgery but was not sure yet if I wanted to go that route. Their response, until the surgery is complete, I can not be a member and my account was removed. I have never felt so betrayed and insulted in my life. It was more than just being reported, it was a complete and utter disrespect and invasion of my privacy. I ended up closing my blog down because even after I was removed from cafe***, the members were still coming to my site, leaving nasty comments and linking it to a private group where I am sure they were all laughing and joking about me and my gender issues. I didn't want to be the brunt of their assaults so I closed it down. I have since suffered a nervous break down and was in the hospital for two weeks and have recently started to reopen my faceb**k account and other things, I just have them all private now to avoid future harassment.
Chauncey77 Chauncey77
31-35, T
2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

You obviously never ran into Purpleducky (I hope he doesn't mind me using his name here). He is over at mom confessions and is a female to male transgender with biological children as well. Fits right in, shares his story and everything. Seems to me that you went to the wrong groups and found the wrong people.

Hi Chauncey, It was so sad hearing your story. When I was a member there I felt many of the other mothers there where bullies and I even got told I was going to burn in hell for various reasons, if you can't breastfeed you would innevitably get one person using the old chestnut of " if you lived in the wild your baby would die" as if that was absolutely fine and implying that we should all be living buttnaked in the wild and that my baby should have died because how dare I rely on something unnatural. This same woman who was bullying me had had chemo a few years earlier. I just shook my head, if I was as judgemental and cruel as her I would have said "chemo is unnatural, you should have just died". But I rose above it and didn't say any such thing.
So there you have it you shared your story with me I thought I'd share mine, and yes they are bullies.