I Think He Still Likes Me.


I've had this guy friend, who's like my best friend for many years. I found out, later in high school when we were best friends, that he liked me but I didn't want to date him on a romantic level, but I still hung round with him.
We left high school, we talked less and less but he got a girlfriend. (Whenever we do speak, it usually turns down to how much he used to fancy me and how amazing he thinks I am) Then he didn't speak to me for like 2 years, when I was having a hard time in an abusive relationship. 
He randomly spoke to me a few weeks ago, only to find out that he was on the verge of leaving his girlfriend (no wonder he spoke to me). Being the good friend I am, I helped him through it and we started speaking more and more. We told each other how much we missed each other and just how much we meant to each other (on a friendship level), because he's like my only true friend. 
But the other night, we spoke for like 5 hours straight until around 2am. He told me again about how much he fancied me for 3 years in high school, that it was the hardest decision of his life to let me go and how amazing I was. He said I should be treated like the Queen and Princess I am, then in another text, he said "but (his girlfriend) is my Queen and Princess now :)"
I was getting tired so I said goodnight and that I enjoyed talking to him but then he bluntly replied, "of course you did...night.". I asked him to explain and he said, "all of what I said will be a waste of emotion and soon you'll just forget about me again" and said that I wouldn't believe all the positive things he said about me. I said there was no emotions to be wasted and it's all in the past, but I lost it and said about how he'd forgotten about me for like 2 years to be with his girlfriend when I needed him the most, but he said that I could've just contacted him, but I said I was too busy being abused to ask for help and no-one knew what I was going through whilst it was happening. I didn't even know it was happening for a long time. But yeah, we fell out and then he tried to ring me (after sending me 3 huge texts) but I was asleep by then. 

It sounds like he still really likes me and he's trying to convince himself that his girlfriend is better. He even said he wished for a long time that I'd be his first girlfriend, but then said he was happy with his girlfriend, after I asked if he was happy with her. If he didn't have any feelings for me, he wouldn't talk about emotions and the past all the time. We usually fall out over the past and so I feel like he's still stuck there. 

FadedSilhouette FadedSilhouette
22-25, F
3 Responses Oct 26, 2013

I gotta agree with what DX and PhoenixTearz have all said. It sounds like he certainly still has feelings for you that go beyond friendship, and that he's trying to convince himself to stay with his girlfriend. I hope she doesn't' feel like second choice in the relationship. But FadedSilhouette... it honestly sounds like you're a better friend to him than he is to you. He needs to learn to let go a little bit. My advice would be to tell him that you are aware that he has those feelings for you, and ask if there is anything you can do to help get where he wants to be with his girlfriend...Maybe it would be a good for him if the two of you talked less for a bit, or tried to stay away from the topic of the past?
Some guys also can't seem to help letting a girl know that they are their friend and yet make them aware of their other feelings to.

Well, You have a nice bf right now ........ So it will be better for you to stay away from that friend who obviously has feelings for you ....... Men usually don't like when they know that their gf is hanging out/talking with a friend who has feelings for her ...... So If your bf knows about it , then It may create some sort of friction in your current relationship.

And this friend of yours doesn't seems to be a loyal one too . when you were down , he was no way near to support you . Now he wants your support and attention. He came to you when he is on the verge of breakup . So Now he WANTS your attention. When he was happy with his life, he didn't even cared to contact you. So that makes him a ' Taker ' and he will remain like that forever . Don't expect him to be ' Giver ' ..... Good luck :)

My boyfriend knows that I talk to him (not anymore ever since this argument) and I said that I think he still likes me but my boyfriend doesn't seem bothered as long as he knows that I'm "off limits" :P
I don't think anyone's a giver really. He did say that I should've messaged him if I needed him but I thought he didn't want to know me anymore so I never contacted him!
Thank-you for the advice :)

It seems like he's either conflicted about you and his girlfriend or something

What do you mean?

I believe he still has feelings for you but for some reason he's trying to convinces himself to be with with his girlfriend

Yeah, that's how I feel too.