I Always Feel Like I'm Bothering OthersI hate asking for help too. For me, I don't really think it's about pride. I think it's more about low self-esteem. I feel like if I ask someone for help, I'm bothering them. And why should I expect anyone to drop what they're doing to help ME?
While I hate blaming my parents for every little thing that's wrong with me, I think this feeling does go back to my childhood. My parents were extremely careful about putting the needs of others ahead of their own and my needs. It was always "don't bother other people will your questions or problems, they're all busy" and so on. And when there was a relative or friend in need, my Dad would bend over backwards for them, but any of my needs could always wait. So after a while, I think I started to get the impression that everyone else's problems were always more important than mine.
As I grew older, I started to understand that other people (at least the good ones) WANT to help, espcially if they have received help from you. It makes them feel good. And if you don't let other people help you, they start to feel uncomfortable with always being in your debt and never being able to feel the satisfaction of helping you out. So I have started to ask for help or accept help from others. However, I still have a hard time asking for help from someone whom I haven't helped already.
lmori 36-40 5 Responses 6 Dec 26, 2010