Use The Law Against Crazy Baby Mommas

 In July 2008, I met my husband. We instantly fell in love and him being stationed (he's military) abroad soon after for 6 months did nothing to shake our bond. In January of 2009 when he returned from overseas, he mentioned to his baby mother that he had met somebody and it was definitely serious and he wanted their daughter to meet me and she went BESERK!. Now might I mention that they had been not dated for over 2 years during which time she had been dating other people and even introduced them to my husband who had always tried to be respectful and supportive.

Anyway, my husband suggested that she meet me to which she replied, "YES, SO I CAN WHOP HER ***"!. Now, I must admit that I started questioning if they had something going on that he did not want to tell me about because I could not believe a woman would degrade herself so much over a man she had not been with for over 2 years. But after over 2 years of madness, I now know the answer YES!!!. After that conversation, she tried running him over with her car, followed him for hours, started throwing rocks at his car and then after that kept away the baby for months. This really hurt my husband because at the time he had a court order in place for joint custody and everytime he would turn up to get his daughter she would not be there and he would call the cops and they would say that they can do nothing but give him a police report.

He continued paying child all the months he never saw the baby and I encouraged him throughout it all that it is CHILD support and what the mom says or does, is irrelevant and so he needs to pay. It was so hard but we kept the faith and in November of 2009 we filed contempt of court charges against her and she replied by filing for sole custody on the grounds that my husband has no interest in his daughter. Her charges were quite frivolous  and the judge agreed in January 2010 because nobody who has no interest takes the mom to court because she will not make him see the baby which was the point of the contempt charges. The judge also called her malicious and bitter and that the next time she tries to keep the baby away she will serve some jail time.

We no longer have issues with her keeping the child away because she now understands that we are not afraid to dragging her *** to court, no matter how long it takes. Here are the rules to follow if want to win using the legal route:

1) If you do not have court ordered visitation, get it! No angry bitter woman should decide how often your man sees his child, let the court decide that.

2) If you have court ordered visitation and she doesn't turn up or refuse to hand over the child, CALL the POLICE!. They will tell you it is a civil matter and they cannot help. That is BS! be persistent and ask for a police report. They will need to see your court order so make sure you have it on hand.

3) DOCUMENT every communication with the Crazy! As such I would suggest  that you limit all telephone conversations especially if your man is making plans as to when to see the child, have it in a text message or email. And all the hate mails and texts that she sends, SAVE THEM. You can imagine my husband's baby momma's surprise when my husband's attorney started reading text messages that were over a year old to the judge of her rants and threats to keep away the baby. She had forgotten them but not us. 

4) DOCUMENT all incidents and  run-ins you may have with the CRAZY because over time you might forget what really happened.

5) When you pay child support make sure it by a verifiable method, NO CASH.

6) Encourage your man to be a model dad. When you have a looming legal battle make sure that your committment cannot be questioned. Be on time for pick ups, smile and be polite (this hard, I know) , take the child out to play in park, Monkey Joes, have conversations with the child but most of all take pictures of all these activities. This might sound a bit fake but if CRAZY suggests that you have no interest, nothing like a scrap book of fun times that will dispel that lie to a judge.

7) Be prepared to lose a few battles to win the war. I cannot tell how many times throughout that year my husband and I would travel 5 hours to pick up the child and we would have to return home empty handed and depressed when baby momma would not turn up at the pick up location. But we always got a police report but we had our day in court, after months of patience and strategic planning.

Be on your game new girlfriends and wives and always remember that a crazy baby momma is just the idiot that your man should have just made give him a blow job! Any woman that does not not have the class and grace to move on when somebody clearly has no interest in her is to be pitied. Do not allow her to vex your spirit! Bitterness and anger only cause wrinkles and obesity, and you do not want any of that!


caderona caderona
26 Responses Oct 15, 2010

Add a response...

Thank you so much for this post ! I've read it three time for some insight and just to read something that gives us some type of hope/ direction.

I have been with my boyfriend for three years he has a son who is five with a women who is on her forth baby father. Him being the first. I stay out of it for the most part and Her and I have never had words ( thank god! Because it would be bad for him) but she tortures bf.

With holds there son, punched him and freaked out two months ago when he went to pick up his son ( now his brother picks him up). He changed his number because she is constantly threating him, and slandering him. We keep all the texts, write every event down, receive a receipt from every check given to her.

They have a court arrangement but my boyfriend is scared to call the cops when she withholds their son in fear that the situation may get worse. I'm not sure how much worse it can get at this point.

He pays child support, he is an absolutely amazing father, and his son loves him to death.

I just don't get it. We are at the point now that he is contemplating a restraining order and police involvement.

I just hope there is some light at the end of the tunnel because I can't keep seeing him have these mental breakdowns. It stresses me out and breaks my heart.

I know that many people would say is he worth all this? But yes he is, he is worth it and doesn't deserve it and needs support. How do you just walk away from the man that you know your meant to spend the rest of your life with.

I hope one day they can both be civil and that one day maybe her and I could have some type of relationship.

One can only pray for better days !

Thank you so much for your post.

Thax fo tha article dear,am one of u,have been going through the same exact thing with my husband's baby mama.....untill we involved the law this woman cooled down alittle she was accepted as an employ on the job have been working 2yrs....Am nt playg with her or loss my job i informed my bosses so they knw abt the situation...and so they warned her bse she had started her cramp with me again....its the Law that works....Dont play with them baby mamas,some of them gat pregnant with the man thinkg they are gonna keep him.....they are fake,liars, believe they are changed when they get to the judge and start crying.....they are acting.....Be strong and deal with the law....

This has honestly been the best advice I've read on the matter. Thank you for sharing!!!!

Add a response...

Thanks alot this is helpful i have been going through babymama drama for almost two years smh


Add a response...

My boyfriend is going through this currently. He was not in a relationship with the woman when the child was conceived but they lived in the same house. They continued to do so after the birth bc he wanted to be there for his son but made it very clear he did not want to be with her. He moved out a year ago and since then she has consistently harassed and berated him all bc he doesn't want to be with her. Apparently that means he's a deadbeat dad. He's an amazing father and his son loves him very much. But it's been over 2 years and she refuses to move on with her life. A few months ago she found out he was dating (me) and she flipped out and had stopped letting him be alone with his son. She has shown up at our home at night to stalk and calls the house repeatedly when she does. She is violent, most likely has a drinking problem and we're pretty sure she has borderline personality disorder. She's constantly carting the child all over the place, even when he's been sick. Her life is more important than her sons health. They do not have any formal custody put into place but it's gotten to the point where he has to go to court. Unfortunately we can't afford a lawyer and any attempt to contact Legal Aid had been met with an answering machine. Thankfully he's saved all her texts where she threatens, curses, attacks etc. she's gone through life with no one telling her "no" and now that it's happened she refuses to accept it. My bf cries constantly because he misses his son and this woman just sits there spewing hatred and everyone's too afraid to tell her to F off. I really hope one day karma gets her bc she is an awful human being and a disgrace to all mothers. Having a child is a gift not a right and you don't get to threaten someone into loving you.

You're awesome.. I'm a single dad........let me rephrase that. I use to be a single dad , now I'm lost, idk what to do anymore. I'm dealing with cps And they're wearing me down. Its been 20 months
I have a beautiful daughter that doesn't deserve anything but a chance at a good life. Your story has given me hope. Please call me. 8329047544.I need help

Letter I wrote to the judge about crazy baby momma for my pending court date. I am the dad, and any advice will be honored and greatly appreciated! She is using the law to kidnap my kids from me!!!

Your Honor,

I want to first thank you for handling the case. I want to apologize for this letter being 5 pages long, but I wanted you to have the full story and not just one side. This has single-handedly been the hardest thing I have ever been through in my entire life. Having to see my kids be put through such misery & sadness before even making it through their toddler and newborn moments is the most excruciating thing you could ever imagine a kid at such a young age having to live through. I am the primary care-giver to my kids due to Crazy working all night & sleeping all day. My kids only knew me, especially Oldest Daughter. I would teach her ABC’s, 123’s and even grammar & colors. Her speech articulation is excellent because I have worked with her day in & day out helping her gain skills & everyday knowledge to help her be able to tell me what she wants & needs in her everyday life, making it easier for her to communicate. I wanted to be able to provide for her needs so she doesn’t feel frustrated.

My daughters are my life and it’s not something that is hard to understand about me, as I care for them very much and have given years of my life to love, care for, & provide for them. There is a lot you can tell about me, as I can be read very easily, because I am open, honest and I have nothing to hide. Crazy has tormented me at the expense of our children’s sanity. There was a call to 911 from me where Crazy had stuck a firearm in her mouth after threatening to use it. This was right after Oldest Daughter was born, and Crazy hadn’t had a chance to be able to drag her in the middle of our problems. The reason I bring this up is because Crazy knew that 1 of my friends had blown their own head off years ago on the 4th of July, and I am definitely not comfortable around firearms. This is because my aunt Angie was murdered by her ex-boyfriend, he shot her then shot himself. This happened when I was only 4 years old, and I have never owned a firearm because of that, not even once in my entire life. Crazy was trusted by me with very sensitive info, and instead of being trustworthy about it, she often used it against me to get inside my head in ways that have often made me afraid for my life. I always wanted to help her with her issues, especially since we had kids together, but much to my dismay, she would never want to work things out, or get along in front of the kids.

Often I would attempt to go into another room to cool off once she would start in on me because the kids were the only thing on my mind, I never wanted to fight with her, and she would often take advantage of that. She would drag the kids in the middle of our arguments, starting off by attacking me with very passive-aggressive comments and then never being satisfied enough with my answers and always prying for more. All I wanted was to not argue in front of the kids, or not even argue at all, but it was never enough. I once had to remove Oldest Daughter from the house and I had taken off walking towards her parent’s house because they lived within walking distance from us, only 4 blocks away. She chased after me and made a scene and the cops were then called on us. Nothing ever became of it because the focus was then on someone who kept asking if Crazy was okay, but was still following her in his car after she had said she was okay and to leave her alone.

During the incident involving the firearm & her attempted suicide, the officer asked me if I wanted her to go to the psych ward, and I told him yes, but that she was also the sole provider of our income and livelihood. I told him I felt 50/50 either way, and she then talked her way out of having to go to the psych ward after maybe 15-20 minutes of consulting with her while I held Oldest Daughter. The cops only released the gun to me afterwards, and would not allow her to pick it up. After I picked the gun up, she wasted no time in hiding it at her parent’s house. She has petitioned for me to not be able to carry a firearm, which I never will, because of the fact that I am afraid of them anyways. My question is whether she plans to use her firearm against me or not since she knows where my mom & best friend live.

Speaking of my mom & best friend: She has gone out of her way to keep me from having any kind of support. She has torn apart any relationship I have ever had outside of our own, not because there were good reasons for it, but to keep me under her control. The way I see it, she wanted to keep me in her clutches so she was constantly sure that she had a live-in babysitter that wasn’t going anywhere. She often told me that I was going to leave her, encouraged me to leave, would start fights trying to encourage me to leave her, but I wanted to prove her wrong, show her that I truly loved her for who she was and not be like everybody else in her relationship, and again she often took advantage of that, especially in front of our own kids.

I’m sure she’ll try and make me look crazy in court, I’m sure she’ll try and use the physicality of our fights against me, I’m also sure that she’ll use texts she received from me as threats to her and her safety. But your honor, allow me to explain the situation: She would go out of her way to not give me things I needed, not provide for me, starve me for hours on end, and do anything she could to get to me in any way that she possibly could at any given moment when all I wanted to do was make her feel loved.

She knew I would never attack her physically, so she would charge at me, punch me, batter me with her fists, threaten me often, give me excuses as to why she needed to be in the same room I was in when I would be trying to escape her advancements towards me, because I was honestly scared for my life. I am not an abusive individual, I am not physically violent, I never once pinned her down onto, or by her abdomen while she was pregnant like she claims that I did. I often tried to restrain her form being able to attack me anymore, and I was not letting her up again, or letting her go again until she promised to not try to make any advances or attack me again. She claims that I pinned her down and attacked her while I did it, when in all honesty, I was just restraining her to the best of my abilities without causing her any more physical harm than I had to.

She was always telling me to be with other girls, when all I wanted was the mother of my children to love me back. I wanted to have a family, because my family is the most important thing to me in my life. My kids are my entire world and this all comes down to what is going on with them, when Crazy would often make everything about herself with severe disregard to our children. She won’t even answer emails or calls from my mom inquiring how they are doing, or where they are even at. My mom is a life-coach and has tried to bring her back down for the sake of our kids, but she refused. We visited a couple’s therapist together, and right as we were about to turn into the parking lot of the counselor’s office, she just blew up at me and made sure we were fighting in front of the therapist, I didn’t understand why she would do that, did it look good on paper? Did it make her feel better about herself? I really don’t know! After the therapist said that she didn’t feel like there was anything in our relationship left to save, I thanked her for her time and for admitting it to us, and attempted to walk home in the hot summer sun. She didn’t leave the office to make sure I was okay, instead, she stayed there at the office with the therapist and played the victim, as usual.

How did I know that she was just playing the victim with the therapist? Well, your honor, that’s exactly how she got me to care for her so much. She made it up that she was the victim in her last 2 relationships, and that they were abusive to her, and I felt very sorry for her. But after a phone call to her ex-husband of at least 4 years, ex-husband, who I was forbidden to talk to by the way, he admitted to me that she often would start in on him, and would get physically violent with him often when he was not expecting it, or did not even want it. She often told me about how she tried to shoot her ex-boyfriend who replaced ex-husband, but the revolver didn’t have a bullet in that chamber, which saved his life.

She had not only isolated me from any of my friends on social media, which she constantly stalked, but also logged into my Facebook account behind my back, blocked ex-husband, his immediate family members, like his mom, and gave me victimized excuses as to why she did it, and smoothed it over with me to make me afraid to undo what she had done, and quite frankly, your honor, I didn’t even think twice about it, it’s just a Facebook profile, just another social network, no big deal. But in hindsight, I truly believe that she did it because I would soon find out the truth about her and her head-games she liked to play to make others feel sorry for her.

Crazy has already revoked my benefits, insurance, reported my hone stolen, locked me out of our mutual phone account, locked me out of my own PO BOX and now I can’t even receive my mail, or get it forwarded out of my PO BOX and to a new address so I can receive it. She has also stolen a part I ordered for my computer that I conduct business on, as I am a very talented web & graphics designer. I am internationally known, and I have several high-profile clients and I can’t get any of my work done without that piece, as my computer is in pieces waiting for that part, so I can put it back together and get it up & running again. There is a temporary computer that I was using that she took with her to work that day I went to collect my things from the house, so I couldn’t transfer my original files which could lead to a faulty lawsuit, or copyright/trademark issues from her.

She has kept me from being prosperous, which has led to very hard times for our home monetarily, she wanted to control the money, along with every other aspect of my life. I would often trust her with info about my new contacts I made, and she would also give me every reason to not to want to talk to them, when I had very lucrative business with them. I could have helped monetarily, but she wasn’t about to let me be prosperous, she was too afraid I would leave if I ever got any traction or money. But I wanted to include her in my business life, I wanted her to have a better job working with me, but she was always working against me, and I couldn’t understand why.

She’s gone out of her way to ruin the relationship I have with my mom, who was my only hope. My mom Viki had lived in Florida previously, but after I called her and told her about Crazy punching me in the face for no good reason, she soon moved back to be close to us, just in case I ever had an emergency like that ever again. Crazy had always called my mom at all hours in the night and really abused the fact that she was always readily available to help her son out of a bad situation, ran my mom’s help into the ground to where my mom was exhausted, she didn’t want to answer our calls because she was tired of hearing about how she couldn’t control me.

Crazy constantly smoked weed while she was pregnant with both of our children. She constantly smoked weed while she was also breast-feeding, I was tired of giving our baby drugged milk, and that was what the whole fight started over. I was always trying to be nice to help her out of a bad situation, begged her to stop going to the drug dealer’s house while she was pregnant, but she was always going back to him behind my back. I would wake up to weed being in the house like it was some kind of surprise, when I had begged, pleaded and flat out told her to stop or I was leaving. But she would convince me to stay and coax me to be okay with it.

Upon investigation, I found a straw that had been cut in half in the house, I had found a lighter in the top of the baby’s closet that I never went into for anything. Crazy would pick her face and she would blame it on her hormones, but I have reason to believe that she was constantly picking her skin because of drugs. When I confronted her about her doing meth behind my back, she immediately got defensive and yelled and screamed that accusing her of it was severely offensive, and made a big deal about it when the accusation was innocent, she would still carry on about it for quite a while, harassing me about it and thoroughly convincing me that she didn’t do it, and for me to take it back.

I just wanted what was best for our kids, I wanted her to better herself, I just wanted a good life for my kids, your honor. I am an awesome father to my kids, everyone who has ever seen me with my kids has always commented on how happy I am with them, and how great I am with them. This story could go on and on, and I just want to be able to see my kids. I want my kids to be away from her severely abusive & vindictive behavior. She has abused our children to no end. Oldest Daughter, my 3 year old, has experienced the brunt of her abuse. She has locked her in her room when she goes to sleep, and when it’s time for Oldest Daughter to get up and use the bathroom, Crazy would tell me not to go help her. Crazy would say that she’s just using excuses to get out of her room, but every time I would let Oldest Daughter out and take her to the bathroom, she wasn’t lying, she really had to go. Crazy would often put Oldest Daughter to bed hungry, locking her in her room until she felt like getting up, not when Oldest Daughter was ready to get up and start her day.

When I had confronted Crazy about sexually abusing Oldest Daughter, Crazy covered it up with something that had happened years ago, said she touched her bottom for medical reasons and had continued to tell me that ever since she did that, that Oldest Daughter had been terrified, but after all the abuse she had put me through, I have trouble believing that she hadn’t sexually abused her bottom because I don’t believe that Oldest Daughter wasn’t old enough to remember the time that Crazy had needed to give her an enema. Oldest Daughter had never contested an enema with me before when she needed one. Crazy was in the bathroom with her & hit Oldest Daughter so hard that it made a very loud sound which I had asked her about, but she gave a weak excuse as to why she hit her while Oldest Daughter was on the potty, she actually denied it, but I heard the smack from her striking our child and literally screaming at her at the top of her lungs, which she did often.

I have only patted Oldest Daughter on her bottom, never striking out of anger, just enough to get her attention, but the way Crazy struck Oldest Daughter was out of anger, frustration & rage. I once locked myself in our bedroom trying to get away from Crazy, but she said she needed her phone. I told her that there was my old cellphone. The phone was available for 911 calls & it was in the kitchen at all times. But instead of backing down, Crazy beat her way into the room. She beat the bedroom door that I sat in front of off the hinges and literally in half. She got her phone she wanted & kept making advances towards me, she was constantly trying to hug me afterwards, and I always had to tell her that I wanted space and to not try to touch me after she had just tried to attack me, it sent mixed signals. Anytime I would try to leave the house to get away from her violence, she would chase me down leaving the kids alone in the house and trying to make a scene, or begging me to come back so I would feel bad & stay with her.
During this last instance, she had started the fight with me, called the cops on me after my own property had been broken, recorded me without my knowledge while I was saying things I didn’t mean, and had me thrown in jail when I hadn’t even touched her, when I didn’t mean to be disruptive, when I didn’t even want to fight with her, and had begged with her not to fight with me. The cops had no compassion for our situation, only saw me as a violent person, & took me to jail even though I kept trying to explain how she had been the aggressor and was making advances towards me to try to pick a fight and then play innocent. Crazy manipulated the situation, the officers, me, our kids & did it maliciously and disrespectfully towards those who were sent to protect & serve us both, not just one versus the other. The police were not interested in my story, they only wanted to know how everything in the house had gotten broken, which was all my property to begin with. She stated that it wasn’t safe for our newborn child who was there, when our newborn child was not even crawling yet, much less walking the ground so I fail to see how it was dangerous, as I was not doing things to harm her or the child and had no intentions on doing so either. I loved her and I especially love our kids and quite frankly your honor, I fear for their lives right now. She will not even say how they are doing, she does not care.

Crazy was going to the dealer’s house for hours on end while she would leave me with the kids. She didn’t actually stop going to the dealer’s house until he finally got busted and she had been caught on his surveillance system, which I am in the process of getting copies of his surveillance tapes, and copies of the 911 reports for each case.

I should have the reports & surveillance videos in 2 weeks. I will get a written statement stating that she is abusive from her ex-husband before my criminal court date. I will be asking for a subpoena of him to testify against her also, and also of her ex-boyfriend. I would also like to mention that Crazy has broken her lease early without written reasons as to why she needed to from her landlord to avoid having to speak with CPS, also to avoid being served with the full-custody & spousal support papers that I have recently filed.

The only reason Crazy called the cops on me this time out of every other time we had argued, is because she called my mom for help yet again even after my mom had told her to stop calling her and dragging her in the middle of our issues, and my mom said to Crazy that if the fighting didn’t stop immediately, that my mom was going to call CPS to protect the kids. That’s when my mom hung up on Crazy, and Crazy immediately called the cops. Crazy asked my mom to come over, because we were fighting, and my mom said No, I am not bringing Oldest Daughter into that mess, and that if we didn’t stop fighting that she was going to call CPS. I believe that is the only reason that Crazy called the cops, out of fear of CPS, and not for her life.

I agree that Crazy & I should not have contact with each other, but the kids are a different story.

Add a response...

I'm glad we're not the only oneS been 8 years and she's still going at it... We took her back to court & the judge pretty well said if parental alienation persists then she will lose custody and we will have full custody! She's crazy! It drives me nut! Argh

does anyone have any information on getting rights when the baby's mother is married to another man in jail?

This really lifted my hopes and god bless this woman with such understanding

My step daughter is now 16 and I am STILL saving every crazy mama text, email and facebook post. I can see the change in my husband's daughter over the years towards her mother. One day crazy baby mama will wake up and be all alone because she will have finally drove her daughter away. But, for the record, her father does not talk about her mother. The crazy baby mama does enough damage on her on.

And I hope she does eventually get sole custody

Spoken like a crazy baby momma.

Fortunately, with such ludicrous behavior, there's not a chance of sole custody. Sole custody can ONLY be granted under specific state-defined criteria, and failed relationships are not one of them. Courts care about the best interest of the child. Depriving your child a father because of failed romantic endeavors is selfish and borderline abusive. No decent parent would ever damage their children to get back at an ex.

Yes MsMidnightBlue, well said! Dgaf92 is nothing but a little girl mentally. Real women would never keep away a child because a man doesn't want them. The bond between a child and father should never be tampered with.

well it's my opinion

Putting your romantic needs above your child's parental needs is selfish no matter how you split it. Just because you have an opinion doesn't make it a good one.

well that's your opinion but i wish the best for the mother and hope she eventually gets full custody.

Is your basis for that just blind man-hate, or do you have a legitimate reason?

3 More Responses

Thank you for sharing this. My husband needs to see this. Thank you all for your stories, I am not alone and together we can all get through this. I love my husband but not his drama.

Hello wat if its the other way around kids father lives with his other baby mama in she keeps him from seeing his kids ... I'll hit her up on Facebook asking her ta let my kids see they father but she go on with some old BS or downing me .... He wants to see his kids but that girl haves the big hand because my kids father don't have a place to stay ....

We tried all that you suggested & the baby momma always gets a slap on the wrist in court as she tries to make my husband look like a deadbeat. He pays his court ordered child support but has stopped driving 2 hrs just for Baby Momma not to show up. He calls but never gets an answer or call back. His daughter is very cold to him now & he is thinking about giving up his parental rights being that he can't use them anyway....

I just absolutely love this post! Every little bit of it. Justice!

I love this my situation is soo familiar. When I first got with my boyfriend his child mother found me on fb & was all nice wanted to have lunch bc she felt she should meet bc I been around her 2010 after my daughter was born the MADNESS began. She wrote me messages sayn how she was ******* him and calld me her babysitter,hoes,etc but guess what SHES MARRIED!! She has him in child support court evry mth & when he want the kids she ignores phone calls & dnt want the kids around his other kids. Recently she took a warrant out on him for harrasment.She made up a fake page talking crazy **** & calld my daughter a lil ***** & said keep clockin in so I can help my man pay childsupport. She takes him bak&forth to court for child support but the kids never have decent stuff. I had to give his son a pair of my shoes bc his ma sent him down with too little shoes for the entire summer.she admitted she is gonna break us up & is doing everything she can....HOW CAN I HELP MY MAN??

Going through the same exact thing right now and it is refreshing to hear of success and new ideas.

My husband ex girlfriend didn't give his son his last name or put his name on the birth cert. she keeps moving from fl to nj and then pa! The baby is only 18 months and he sends money and she sends it rt bk. then she tell him he can't never see him or have pics of him. It's truly heart breaking because my husband has talked to lawyers and we have got no help. Then she calls out the blue and says he can see the child if he pays 17,000 in bk child support and $900 a month! Some one please help we need some ideas

U need to get a lawyerPlease reply with authenticity, support, and respect

My girlfriend left me because my crazy baby momma mailed a letter to her parents house slandering me or libel. She said she couldn't do it and out of respect for her and her family I can understand that, but what relationships are perfect?

@ missomellow, Have you guys spoken to a lawyer? The fact that he signed away his rights years ago when he was much younger might not be as significant as you think. I know we have heard a lot about the court system but it really is not a bad as we think. Courts are ultimately interested in the best interest of the child and it is the child's best interest to have a mom and dad in his or her life.<br />
<br />
@kiwimyx, thanks for the love! Suggest Weight Watchers to your hubby's ex. Sounds like she has some physical and emotional weight to shed. LOL!

I love this advice. I think I just responded to your other post. Only had my husband done those things you mentioned as far as courts. He & his ex have joint custody but with him being in the military she uses that to her advantage that he's always gone. Which is true, he is. For 13 years he & I have been married he's been deployed for 10 years. YES!! In & out.....he's done only one shore duty (which means he doesn't deploy out to sea for 3 years) and the rest has been all sea duty ranging every other 6 months. So, it made it hard and that was her way of going M.I.A when she knew what she was doing was wrong. There have been phone coversations between my husband and his son but when she would uproot and relocate, there would be no contact unless times get tough and she wants something. We never get a hello or hi dad I was thining of you or would like to come see you. It's always MATERIAL!! I can't imagine how a woman could go on and use a child as a weapon to hurt the father. Whatever happened to morals and respect and regardless of the past and if the father has moved on or is a dead beat or whatever......still allow your child(ren) see their father!! You surely didn't make the baby yourself. And my thing is WHY punish the men who WANT to be in their child's life?? I think it's backwards to punish the good men who are trying but the ones who aren't and are true dead beats, get the utmost respect. I'm confused. LOL<br />
<br />
Most women (not all) are so stupid and simple minded they don't see that they get more along with child support by allowing the child to be with their fathers. They get a break, they get extra clothing when the child visits their father (still collecting child support), they get school supplies, new shoes (shoes are very expensive), toys, video games, etc....and that frees the mother up to date, remarry and do whatever she pleases while she puts the responsibility on the father who is now stuck with the child during the summers and has to deal with all the heartache of the child's selfishness. Instead, most women think keeping the child from the father will punish him when in reality, it hurts themselves and their child. In the end the child is not going to care who did what to whom, how much child supoprt was paid, or the father having a new wife or girlfriend, etc...NO, that child is going to want to know WHY wasn't their father apart of their lives and with the woman's lies.....the child is going to hear the father's side (if they decide to seek a relationship) and will grow angry toward their own mother who raised them all of their life once they hear their father's side of the story. Then, the entire ordeal has back fired and now the mother is playing victim and paying the price. LOL!! Karma<br />
<br />
Boy, I can't wait for the day God showers his Blessings and shows these children including my husband's son the TRUTH!! The truth will hurt but it will also set them all free. The mother is the one who will suffer and have regrets.<br />
<br />
I have seen what my husband goes through and I don't wish any thing such as "baby momma drama" on anyone. It's a mess that can be avoided and I don't understand why two adults who made the child, can't sit down and come together to raise the child without chaos and drama. It's sad and such a horrible society we live in. Jealousy is a killer. You are right bitterness and anger will only cause wrinkles and obesity. That's where my husband's ex is right now. No matter how many times she remarries or goes to school or relocates, she will never be happy until she decides one day to ask for forgiveness and change for herself.<br />
<br />
I'm glad there are discussions out here like this one. I feel so much better letting my thoughts out. Thanks for your words of encouragement.

You said it well. It is good to know that I am not the only one going through this but it is sad that this is what we are dealing with. It is emotionally draining. My husband and I are dealing with an extreme excuse maker and habitual liar and has taught his daughter the same. We used to see her on weekends and holidays only but now we see her summers and vacations. Spending longer periods of time with her we have found out much about her habits and personality. She's not a very pleasant person and I admit I am ashamed of her behavior when we are out of earshot. The Crazy and the daughter continue to lie (to each other even, wonder how well that's going to work out) and they only call when they need something. It is heartbreaking and disappointing everyday. I am worn out from the stress and have gotten a phenomenal amount of grey hairs just in the last month. I'm starting to not care and that is not like me at all.