Misery Loves Company...

I met my boyfriend during August of last year. When our relationship began, he was still married but had been separated for 2 weeks. I was a little cautious about dating him in the beginning. They were in their 2nd marriage, and this was the third time that she had left him. I had never dated anybody with kids, an (ex)wife, or as old as him (6 years my senior). When she left, she took the kids with her and gave him visitations. He was unemployed at the moment, and she constantly called about money and threatened him for child support(while they were still married). When she found out that he had a girlfriend, she began to call complaining i.e. he doesn't spend time with the boys, he doesn't help out, he rather be with his girlfriend than his kids. Within 2 months she gave my boyfriend the oldest son (8 years old) and just wanted to keep the youngest son (4 years old). Then in a couple of weeks she wanted him to keep the youngest son every other week. Less than a month later, my boyfriend had both the kids because she was putting them in unsafe situations; he had gotten several phone calls from people saying that they were going to call CPS on her. In the court order he got full primary custody of both children, and she only got visitation rights.For the first few months, he called every weekend to see if she would get the kids. She would just give excuses and only come get them after he had dogged her out about not seeing the kids. If she did get the kids, she always picked them up late and dropped them off early. She would tell my boyfriend about how her current boyfriend would beat her and that he raped her. However, she would get mad when he refused to give her the kids because she said that she would have them around the abusive boyfriend. So we decided that we can't make her spend time with the kids; we were determined to move on without her and focus on the kids. When he quit calling is when she started calling. We had to quit letting her talk to the kids on the phone because she would tell them that she was going to come get them and never showed up. The most we have ever heard from her was during income tax season. I believe that she solely sees these children as walking dollar signs. She called at least twice a week and always asked something about filing taxes because they had to file together and split the money. After she spent all her income tax refund, we let her have visitation. She thought that I would be meeting her alone to drop off the kids. When we showed up at the meeting spot, she had brought her abusive boyfriend and another man with her. Needless to say, my boyfriend was hot and got in a heated argument with her. Whenever my boyfriend doesn't give into her way, she throws down like a child leaving a string of nasty voicemails and texts i.e. "I hate you", "The kids will hate you", "You're pathetic to use the kids to hurt me", "You don't want me to be with anybody or be happy". Now my boyfriend doesn't take her phone calls or answer her texts at all; he told her that she will have to prove that she can provide a stable environment. I know that it bothers her so bad that he won't talk to her or give into her. He has decided that she either has to grow up or won't see the kids til they have grown up. She still leaves voicemails threatening to put both of us in jail or crying wanting to know at least that the boys are okay; she texts him saying rude things about me and tries to break us up. As of today she has only visited with the boys for 14 days and 9 nights and has not paid any child support. She is the most self-centered person I know. She only wants them when she can't have them or when it's convenient for her. The most pathetic thing is really only wanting your kids on Mother's Day and YOUR birthday - not theirs.
Those kids are our number one priority; everything we do is for them. We work hard to provide an environment with love, consistency, and stability. Instead of moving to the side and waiting on her, I provide the mother figure for the kids. I may not be their biological mother, but I have a bond with them and a urge to protect them - even from their own mother. It could've been worse though - she could've had custody of the kids. Everyday I thank God that he took the boys away from her. As long as the kids want anything to do with her I have to tolerate her but I accept that. However, she will have to deal with me to because I will always be there for them. Remember, it takes two to argue and  they can only do as much heartache and damage as YOU let them. Misery loves company.