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The Spiteful Baby Momma..

 

     First i want to say it's so refreshing to have a site where you can go to vent and get insight on the problems ailing you, see I live on a island with my boyfriend. He was raised here and every part of his past life is here, which some times adds to the problem, because I have no friends or family here to really relate and chat with so i'm resulting to online help.
    Me and my boyfriend have been together for a yr now and i wouldn't mind spending the rest of my life with him. We've discussed marriage already. I knew when meeting him that he had a 9yr old child with another women at the time I saw no problem. He also was just finishing doing 9 yrs in prison unfortunately. I have been very supporting of him as much as possible. This is the past history he has told me about his baby momma's and his relationship. They were together when he went to prison for drugs but he said he knew then that they weren't going to be forever. (This is kind of a long story) In any event she got pregnant and he got time. He says and his family says that he left her with $20 grand. She may of visited him a couple times in the beginning of his sentencing but it faded. She got married to another man pretty quickly and had over the course of time 2 more kids. During my boyfriends time in prison she wouldn't bring his son to visit him and say things like " I have to see how my husband feels." She basically gave my boyfriend her *** to kiss while he was locked up. My boyfriend says that he would send his kid shoe back packs and money from prison and his kid later said that she threw the material stuff away.
       Now, my boyfriend get out of prison and he told me that before he met me and when he got out he and her where intimate together but he was just doing that as revenge? (stupid) He finally was able to see his kid. She was still married. Every one was saying that his baby momma was going around saying how she should of waited for him she wishes she didn't have more kids and all this craziness. She now files for divorce. Even her husband thinks it was to get back with my boyfriend. My boyfriend says that he doesn't want her, especially after everything she's done to him.
       Well me and my boyfriend start to date. He was able to see his son with no problem until his baby momma found out about me. When she saw and found out about me she started demanding money from him saying if you want to see your kid I need X amount of dollars. She kept him away for a couple months. At first he would give her the money but it was becoming crazy. (Mind you he's just getting out of prison from doing 9yrs) Him being able to see his kid lasted for alil then she said she was putting him on child support in hopes of getting back pay from when the child was born up to now. She didn't get her wish, since you can't get back pay when a person is in prison for that long. She got back pay from the time he was released and $230 or something a month. She complained about that and said that's not enough to take care of a child. My boyfriend's child had a birthday party and we paid for everything at the party non of her family members or her contributed at all down to the cake. She complained of course. The whole time she tried to act as if they were in a relationship together and i was just there. She would follow him around everywhere he went. She even said that he needed to pay for the present she brought for her son. She said to him whats my name because she is around our son. She's seem me before and never wanted or cared to know my name. She gets attitudes with him in my face, talking to him as less of a man as if she's trying to see how far im going to let things go. I let allot of things go because I didn't want and still don't want to be involved in some aspects because they are parents of a child. She would continue to harass say he's not a good parent, call his phone back to back, say things like i'm insecure, say that he needs to be at every game the kid has even though she's never there and goes to her other sons game. 
        My boyfriend takes care of his child he buys school clothes more clothes shoes. ( When i say clothes and shoes I mean name brands no off brands Lebron's Nike's everything) He paid for his foot ball pictures and didn't get one picture until he asked because she wasn't going to give him one. He paid for him to be able to play football. He would give her money for food for him. He buys him toys any thing this child may need. Up and beyond spoils the kid but she filed for child support any ways and still gets this help outside of child support so where is the money going? 
     On Thanksgiving day the kid had spent a few days with us. She came over early in the morning bamming on the door loud as if she was a police officer very loudly saying wheres the kid. Which she also named the kid after boyfriend. She's the kids mother where is her son. She knew he was spending the few days over and threatened to call the police saying that he was kidnapping his child. Which is totally crazy, so my boyfriend wasn't able to spend Thanksgiving with his son and wasn't allowed to see him for weeks because she hadn't received a child support payment . Christmas was coming around the corner so now she calls and ask what he's getting his son. He spent about grand or more on his sons Christmas toys and even brought toys for her other kids that aren't his. Another think not only does he take care of his kid he gets her other kids too and takes them to get their hair cut and to the play ground or movies and stuff.  He was able to spend half the day because he had gifts over here.
      Well one day she called about my boyfriend going to one of the games she demands him to go to not that he wouldn't go on his own she just needs to feel control. Well after the game we take his son to get his hair cut and she shows up. She shows up with her other kid and nephew and just starts saying subliminal comments and the guy asked if my boyfriend was paying for all the hair cuts just being a smart *** cause he's a mutual friend . I said don't play and she goes into this thing about how he usually pays for all her kids hair cuts im like ok and? Then as we are about to leave my boyfriend me and his son she's like um no i don't think my sons going with you guys hes staying with me now so we ended up getting into a argument about how i know her game and shes using her son for money and a pawn cause he's not with her and trying to make my life miserable. When she knows there's a event on the island for adult she'll tell her son to call and say he wants to come over. She even had her son steal $50 from his own dad. She eventually acted like oh well I guess she he can spend the rest of the day with you all. After stating that she could have me boyfriend if she wanted him but when my boyfriend didn't say she wanted her she changed the story saying they both didn't want each. She said that they will just continue to talk in private like they always do. She still some how is holding on to him. 
        After that incident she was started letting him have his son all the time i mean almost every other day and he's still paying support but missed a couple payments cause he was paying for other things his son needed and is at risk of having his license suspended. Believe me I have made him aware of his rights that he can file for custody visitation at least and a modification on his child support being that he now supports his kid more than the baby momma does and she never had had to take care of the child soley anyways. He seems to be blind to all her attempts to try to come between us and how she did him wrong in prison basically giving his money to another man and marrying him and not letting him see his child. Now that she's unhappy she wants him to be because here marriage wasn't good and wanted to use him as pay back to her husband. She wants to come between us. He just wont see it no matter what and if he does its only for a lil while then he's right back to eating right of her hands doing what she says or else.
      Last night he was going to pick up his kid. She lives with her dad and his wife now with her 3 kids and she says to him because I guess she wasn't home oh don't go in my room. To my knowledge he doesn't even go in the house like that so why would she say that? It just makes me think along with all this other stuff that there is something going on between the two because if there wasn't he would do things the right way instead of her way. Every time i bring this up he says im not right. That he has no feelings toward her but he gets really angry and try to make it like im the cause of his problems. He takes out their drama on me i feel like his side chick instead of his main chick emotionally. We always get into a big argument when i say i don't like the way thinks are going how she's implying they have some thing more than just the concern of the child how she uses him for money and plays the victim. Some how it ends being that he says I hate his son and im insecure and treating me like im the enemy. I can't have the relationship i want with this man because he seems to have something there still with this women after everything. He says he wants to marry me but i don't know if this is a good idea considering how mistreated I feel i am because i don't agree with the way there relationship is and have my concerns.

    

Jadea24 Jadea24 22-25 2 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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*abusing them

My story is very similar to yours. My husband's son is now 19. When the boy was little my husband spent time in prison. She married but she would visit him with the baby. She got married and the marriage was short, about 3 years. During the marriage, they would still have sex. She had two more kids and said they were his. Tests showed one belonged to the husband and the third to another random man she was cheating with. My husband still did things for the other two, as your man does. He moved away from home leaving her behind and started over. <br />
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The bio son did live with him, but went back home where she is when he graduated HS 2 years ago. Around that time, he sent for the other two who aren't biologically his because she had been a using them. The husband divorced and left her years ago. Neither of the last 2 bio fathers were involved at all. My husband is the only father they have known.<br />
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He now has guardianship of them. One has 1 year of school left and the other has 2. She lives many states away (about 2days drive). That does make my situation bearable. What annoys me is her attitude like she's entitled when he's doing her the favor. She sends no money for them. One father pays CS and she still gets the money. She's sneaky also. When a relative of my husband's died, she asked one of the kids was my husband coming up for the funeral. She got worse when she found out I'm pregnant. Two more years and she will not have a link to my husband in our home! <br />
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On another note, what do you think makes these men help take care of a BM's other kids? Of course my DH says it is about the kids but I can't help but wonder sometimes if it's about feelings for the BM.