I Want To Talk To My Husbands Baby Mama.

Im about to get married to the love of my life in August 2012. He proposed in Atlanta in may this year. I'm happy with him, and I know he loves me. He has a child from a previous relationship with a lady in Atlanta. I'm 30, he is 37 and the mother of his child is 44. I have met his son, and we get on well, I have not met the mother of his child, but I have seen her once. It seems that after she found out about me she stopped communicating with my husband. She does not pick up any of his calls, and when he goes over to pick up the child, she stays in her bedroom. So it seems like she is unhappy that he is in a steady relationship.
I can imagine how she feels, even though I do not have any children of my own, but my husband is a good catch, and maybe when she saw us it stirred up feelings for her. I don't know this woman, I'm sure she must be pretty great person because her son is the most respectful, polite, caring boy I have met, he must get it from his mother because he lives with her. My husband and I live on an island in the Caribbean and we visit Atlanta 4 times a year.
I don't pry into his past relationship with her, but I want to speak to this lady and let her know, I will never try and take her place with her son. I also noticed she text him asking him to lend her money, I think she should know I am going to be his wife, or am his wife. I want her to know that her ignoring my husband is not punishing me in any way, but only punishing the child. I don't feel any bad way towards this woman, I feel I deserve to lay my thoughts out so that where I stand is clear In the future. If I go ahead and call her, my husband will be very unhappy and I also don't know what response I will get from her.
Please help me with advice, I'm not used of dealing with African American women,some of them appear to be very head strong and I don't want to run into a potential drama situation. And I am a black African woman, my nature is very calm. Please note I'm not insulting African American women, it's just that every time I hear about baby mamas, I hear about violence and threats,
Or should I shut up and let things play out?
honeyF honeyF
3 Responses Aug 3, 2012

Yeah shut up and let things play out- its her decision how she wants to handle it in that sense not yours.

I think you need to relax and let them handle that. Yes, you guys will be one soon but you need to let him handle his child's mother and let him establish the boundaries, etc. Truthfully, no need for you to contact her regardless if your intentions are good. I am sure if it was the other way around, you wouldn't appreciate someone trying to impose themselves on you.

Sadly you trying to discuss or help anything that's directly to do with their child is going to cause conflict. Even though what she's doing by ignoring/avoiding your husband is childish its not your place wife or not to step in... I know its hard. I've been there & also seen people on her end. Best advice is for him to express his feelings himself.....and that's all that can happen... its a tough situation hope it gets easier

I agree there... if shes harassing you guys & in your business. I literally just posted my story thats the SAME. Im trying to figure out what to do. Did yours ever STOP? LOL