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Does It Ever End??

Ive been with my husband for 8 years and married for almost 4. He has 2 children who are 16 & 12 by a woman who is dreadful! From the beginning she has made my life so difficult. She called me several times before me and my husband even got married claiming they were sleeping together and that she will always love him and that even if he is with me she will be there for him. That was easy to get past because I trust my husband. This has happened since we have gotten married only once or twice about 3 years ago but it is hard to forget. She has held the children as a weapon stating that he cant come get them unless it is on her terms (usually because she wants to go out). Her and my husband were never really serious (according to him) they never lived together or shared any bills or were engaged. My husband is 8 yrs older than me and his bm is 10 yrs older than me. She has no career, she works the bare minimum to be able to file taxes to get money back for the kids, she lives in section 8, receives food stamps and has no man of her own. She has a 4 yr old child with another man that wants nothing to do with her. I guess what really bothers me is that she is always around. Every single holiday and family function she is there. She has known his family for 20 years I get it, but seriously come on don't you feel a little out of place being somewhere with your ex and his wife? I used to tell my husband how uncomfortable it made me to see her there ALL THE TIME but he said he doesnt pay any attention to her and neither should I. She doesnt speak nor do I. But I guess my question is after 4 years of marriage how can I get passed this small problem? She is friends with all of his family which makes me feel like I have to have a guard up with them, also s/n I dont have any children yet I am focusing on my career for the time being I guess in the back of my head I feel like maybe she thinks she still has the upper hand because she has 2 of his children. Thoughts??
jetsettermc jetsettermc 26-30 2 Responses Nov 23, 2012

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I have the same problem except far worse believe me. If she is still doing all this after so long then she will never stop. Only way to get her outta your space is to tell your husband you will not accept her sad behavior. If he does'nt understand that this is making you uncomfortable then he will never understand and you are just wasting your time. UNDERSTAND- SHE IS NOT LETTING GO. She will continue to hold on and manipulate the situation as long as she is allowed to.

That sucks!Why does she have to be at all the family events?You must feel like an outsider!She isn't over him,and she is bitter and jealous.My husband can't see his daughter,cause the same reasons.I have 3 kids from a 8 yr marriage,and we have worked past this,i still don't want to be his best friend ,but i'm always nice,and i'm friend's w/ his Girlfriend,lol,she is good to my kids and thats what matters

I definitely feel like an outsider. I guess she feels like she was here first...idk. I wish she would move on! I am more than good to their daughters bit she doesnt care. I am glad that not all exs are like her!

No they are not all like her.I had to hear from his ex for at least 4 yrs,calling us all the time sometimes 3 or 4 times a day,she would yell at my husband,call me a *****,i finally told her to **** off,she hasn't called in awhile:)