I Hate My So's Babymama

Firstly, let me say that this situation isn't ideal, and a lot of forethought should have gone into it, on my part, on my SO's part...and on the part of that damn woman who is his first babymama...and unfortunately, still his wife.

My SO is ten years older than me. We met at work, ended up falling in love, and I intend to spend the rest of my life with him. Problem is, he's been legally separated for over a decade, and gave up on pursuing a divorce for many reasons.

  1. He didn't have the money. Babymama is a lazy ****, who feels that she just has to sit around, work part-time, and collect half his check in child support (as well as the rest of it when she asks)...as well as public assistance. If I had her address, I'd report her.
  2. He still doesn't have the money. Due to health issues and a complicated pregnancy, I've been out of work since last July, and it's hard enough just keeping a roof over our heads.
  3. He's been afraid that babymama would further block him from seeing his kids. She already only drops them off when it's convenient for her...in other words, when she wants to come party up here. One time she dropped them off on a Wednesday evening, and picked them up at noon on Saturday. My SO really only got to come home, say hi, eat dinner, and that was it. Did babymama care? No.

Well, we're changing all of that. The divorce is either going to be done pro se (I have to look at the paperwork, I'm the more bookish of the two of us), or we're going to have to find a lawyer that will do what needs to be done (enforce visitation, lower the child support now that he has another kid) and not charge us an arm and a leg.

This woman has forged his signature, taking credit out in his name. She ruined his credit. When she filed for separation, she accused him of not taking care of his kids, but she was emptying his bank account. Not only did he get charged for bouncing two checks (now he checks his bank account religiously because of that), but she lied and said that even though she was an army wife, she had to go on public assistance. That's BS. She refused to go with her husband because she was pregnant with someone else's child (not the first time), and wanted to get rid of it without him finding out. He found out anyways when the abortion went wrong and she ended up in the hospital. Before that, he found out she was out whoring when she fainted at work and they found out she was pregnant.

She has a son by a man who she will not name, but somehow talked my SO into giving him his last name. I have no problem with that, but if this man is supposed to be daddy on paper and in child support, at least let him see the child.

It gets worse. Every single person that is related to or friends with my SO practically throws up on the sidewalk when they hear the name of his babymama. She has walked into the house of his mother and called her a b*tch. She has argued with his family. He alienated his family, trying to stand by her, because he thought that was the right thing. He almost lost me defending that woman.

This past weekend, she came up here with the girls and her son to go to her mother's birthday. She didn't deem it important to even stop by and let the girls say hi to their new little brother. Ever since she realized that my SO was serious about me, she's been acting crazy. Now she wants to be seen as "the wife", she won't let the girls come visit because she doesn't want my SO to have pictures taken of all his kids. When I first  met her, I tried to be kind for the sake of the girls, but she just looked me up and down like I was so much trash.

SO called her at 11am on Saturday asking if he was going to see them (she said she was going to bring them to spend the night). She said she would call when they were done with their hair. Heifer never had any intention of letting him see his kids.

The frustration had finally built up for me, so I called her and chewed her out. On the voicemail, because she was avoiding calls from our house, in order to not have to explain why she was acting the way she was.

I am not ashamed that I called her a b*tch. She is one. She has abused my SO for years, taken every dime he has, and has the nerve to claim that he's "not doing as much as he used to", because she's not getting several extra hundred a month IN ADDITION TO the $520 she gets in child support THAT PAYS HER RENT! WE CAN BARELY PAY OURS, LET ALONE EAT!

I'm not ashamed that I called her a *****. She is one. You go and get pregnant within the bonds of your marriage three times, and then when you get caught the final time you file for separation claiming that your husband won't support you and the kids? You're lucky he's not wondering if they're his at all!

I told her that the divorce would be coming, and that some uncomfortable changes would be coming with it. I told her that the days were over when she had him so emotionally defeated that all he did was fork over the cash and pine after his daughters. I told her that visitation would be enforced by law, and that she would bring her trifilin behind up here and drop those girls off according to the schedule the court set, that she would respect our time, and that she would change her attitude, or I'd do my best to see that she would lose those girls. I also called her a hypocrite (to which someone on her side agreed), because she's upset that my SO had a child with me, but what about her son? She's pretty much mad that I was the one to give him a boy named after him and she wasn't. Had she respected her marriage bed, she'd probably still be happily with him. It's her fault this didn't work out, and she needs to grow up and accept that instead of trying to bankrupt this man.

She calls back trying to act ghetto. I told her that she thought that she was just hurting my SO with her behavior, but the truth is, she was also hurting her kids.

She calls him crying, saying she had forgotten the past (of course you did, you could conveniently forget the dirt you did), and that he wasn't to call her anymore. She told him to "not lose contact with the girls on account of this". Idiot, that was the whole point, you didn't want him to have contact with the girls! How many times did you call them "your children", when they're his as well? All of a sudden this woman is the victim...and she's probably going to try to turn the girls against me, which will hurt, because my anger was only about the fact that a good father can't see his kids...but I'm not ashamed I laid her a** out. She's horrible. I hate her. I can't wait until the day he's divorced, I can't wait until she goes to court for forging his signature, I can't wait until the judge rips her a new one for abusing the law as a custodial parent. I can't wait.

Karma is a mother. I saw my brother go through babymama drama, and he just sat back and let nature run it's course. Now the babymama is nearing 40, still living at home with two kids, dreaming of a man who feels she's too crazy and irresponsible to marry, and utterly depressed. Had she not tried to lie and connive, she'd still be with my brother. I wish I could find the woman who is her friend who works with child support enforcement who somehow managed to have my brother paying child support on a child that wasn't his (my niece and her sister, who isn't my brother's). I'd have her fired in disgrace.

Women, grow up. Stop trying to get back at the man using the kids!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 Responses Mar 25, 2009

First of all, he CAN afford a divorce as well as see his children. He can go to the family law section at the courthouse and file the papers, he will also need to fill out a POVERTY AFFIDAVIT stating that he cannot afford the fee, and they will waive it. During this process he will need to be clear that he want his visitation rights. He need to collect copies of ALL of his expenses including utilities, rent, doctor visits, medications, tax returns, etc. to prove to the judge that he is experiencing financial hardships. And that will end all of that drama! OMG! Take a look at my petition to end baby mama drama. http://chn.ge/1d622Eu

Having researched, it's an all too common problem in today's world, especially in cultures where a girl becomes a woman at 13

& where so many thousands each year are kidnapped & trafficked for slavery exploitation, so it needs the dispassionate scientific approach to bring it into the open, yes?

& warrants public posting, to help others who EP search the subject

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You need to tell him to get a back bone and do what he needs to do because self is first. With out him no one gets anything He need to take care of finializing his marriage. They all use the kids for an excuse, but the ball is in his court. It's his situation he needs to deal with it. He shouldn't have gotten serious with anyone until he had this taken care of. Stop feeling sorry for him only he can fix this

baby mamas will always be baby mamas, always thinking they run ****!

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She is so out of line and I know where you are coming from. It is a constant struggle to be the bigger person and some days the idea of running her over with your car just about over rules that bigger person. I get by those days by remembering that i already love my man and by default love his son.

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I can totally understand how you feel.....

She sounds about like my baby momma. The best thing you can do is ignore her crap and bethe bigger people. Try to get the court system on your side. Play the victim and act it up, also make sure you keep tabs on the BS and I am serious, keep it documented and useit against her. You have to be on the offense while you look the role of defense.

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