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Letter to Mom, Re: Judgment

Dear Mom,

I love you, but why do you inappropriately interchange "good" and "well"?  You say "they" when you haven't introduced a subject.  Today you said "a accident"!  What is happening?  Weren't you the one who taught me to "speak the King's English"?  To speak properly?  You don't use adverbs.  Hell, no one does.  "He ran quickly," not "he ran quick".  Don't you know, don't you know Mom, I judge you when you use poor grammar.  In addition, it's imperative that you use the subjunctive tense.  It's, "I wish I were taller", not "I wish I was taller". 

Anyway, I don't wish you were taller.  It's fun to look down on you.  Do you like my pun?

With love and respect,
Your daughter

P.S.  I'm judging you.

brujis brujis 19-21, F 1 Response Aug 14, 2007

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I hate my mother, But I will never write her a letter like this. Or even post a story like this for the sake of posting a story on EP. It will make all concerned mother to feel sad they brought up an intelligent child.