A Lesbian Who's Dream Is The Total Opposite.

For anyone who see's this, this is probably * out there*, I am a 20 year old lesbian who's goals in life doesn't involve such. As i try to live my dream fighting well fighting with this, people tell me to give up my dream and just be the lesbian i am*sexually( that i am not*mentally).

I consider myself a average female, i love makeup, getting dressed, don't you dare cutt my hair, and i just like to have fun :). I am empowered to live to cleanse my families mental sicknesses(beyond most people's understanding) * lesbian, gays, bi, etc.. are not a sickness*, by separating myself from them and starting my own family. I have many gay friends :) their awesome i just don't feel a part of it other then sexually liking women.

How i see men sexually: age 12-17( eww gross get that out of my way!) age 17-19 (uhm idk maybe personality will make this better?) 20 - ... * through all these years i have tried methods to make myself like men and some had worked for little at a time, but doing it still was .... well ... not great. Though its tolerable if you know how to work the relationship :).

I love men's personalities, their just so amazing :), but like with women its like you have to walk around your words in a normal conversation.

I have been with my boyfriend since we were 13 years of age * the love of my life, its a feeling you'll never forget* , wanting to eventually have a house, car , kids you know the regular routine ;). Though the only thing in the way was my sexual urges??, it's the only part that i like about a woman. I have fought this since age 12. I just want to cleanse the sickness and give my kids the life they deserve.

I don't mean to be rude and i don't mean that others can't do this, but i do have a hard time with people telling me to be a lesbian mother. I have always had this THIS ISN'T RIGHT FEELING*with nausea*. If it isn't right then why should i do it, if i can't sexually like a man, but have the urges for women that * but have the It Doesn't Feel right, then why should i.

This does effect someone's life major, but in my life its follow your goals or fall for stupid wantings that won't accomplish anything.

I want everyone out there to live how they want and how they want to!

I never met anyone such as myself since i am also athiest or agnostic... the one where you believe that god is a fairy tale but still like the idea of it. * anyways enough of religion*.

I have giving myself like 10 minuites to type this so i hope i got it all.

ps- though if  a woman came up to me and kissed me.. i'd prob fall for her >.>
Kpjda Kpjda
18-21, F
1 Response Dec 12, 2012

May i ask anyone's opinions?