I Feel Like I Deserve Better

I don't even know where to begin. Well lets begin when me and my husband meet.

We meet online, saw a cute picture of a kid and him, I thought it was his kid but he said its not, we dated online and he eventually said he was divorced and that the kid in the picture was the kid of his ex wife NOT HIS. He said that the kid only spends time with him on the weekends. We dated for a year, long distance dating., then got married. That's when I found out that the kid has been with him 24 hours a day 7 days a week! And the mom only sees him for an hour or two! I am the one who took care of the kid, feed the kid who is 10 by that time, wake up him up to school, drop him of to practices!

I told myself well maybe this will get better, but NO! It got worse, I found out that my husband is the one paying for his ex wife, phone bills, car payment, insurance payments, gas money, rent!

And always tells me that he is doing all of this because he loves the kid.

So I thought, well maybe this will all change if we have our own son.. NOT!!!! Now it get even worse, I feel so bad about myself for bringing up a baby boy into our life. Now me and my baby are both suffering and always wanting his attention.

I wanted to divorce him but I love him. He gives us anything we wants. THINGS! MATERIALS!

But it's hard. It's hard to be the second one. It always hard to see the first family he created. Painful to feel that we are not priority.

I keep on asking myself why would he make a new family when he is still not over with the first one.?
goldrebo goldrebo
22-25, F
4 Responses Dec 8, 2012

Make him choose. You cannot just take this and wait for things to change while suffering this way.

They do it because they are trying to show everyone else how much better they are doing without actually really moving on. They just want the appearance of the happy family but really doesn't care about anyone but themselves. Tell him how you feel about everything and ask he try counceling if not for the sake of your sanity and your sons self worth and happiness leave because it will only get worse.

He will never change. He clearly wanted someone kind as he had the photo of the child on a dating site! Ex wives will always be in the picture. They will be put first. If you don't have children. I would suggest you build your own life. Slowly remove the care that you do for the child but tell him this as this is not your responsibility. No one will thank you. Develop you.

You need to talk to your husband about what you feel. :(

I did. In a letter. He said sorry and that was it. It got even worse. It feels like his building a family the family he has before. And we are left out. My baby only spends 2 hours a day with him. Because he is busy with the kid.

I was at first dumbfounded when I read your story. I couldn't understand why your husband was how he was either. Then I read Stitched83's response to your posting. I think that person's thoughts about your husband are 100% correct. He does sound like an egotistical ***. Don't let him make your baby as miserable as he himself is. Or as miserable as his actions are making you. He lacks compassion and true love.