I Hate The Position I Am In!

I have been with my fiance for a little over 3 years now, we have twin daughters who just turned 2, and he has 2 sons from his previous marriage. His ex is the like someones worst nightmare. After awhile of dating him she became to like me, but since our engagement she has done everything she possibly can to break us up. Its not like he left her or anything, because she is the one who cheated on him and left him for one my his good friends. I am not going to explain everything about what she has done because that would take forever, but you can go read my other stories to get the idea. Just recently her and her man have been saying mean things about me and calling me names in front of the children. The youngest told his dad this last weekend, and I am sure it is true because some of the things he said wouldn't be something he would just think up.

My fiance, up until recently has allowed her to walk all over him, and sometimes still allows it. I sometimes feel he does more of what she asks of him then what I ask of him and we live together, I feel I come second/third especially when it involves their children. I understand he wants to do everything he can with them and for them but there has to be a line drawn somewhere especially when she changes plan at the last minute and expects him to drop everything for her (which sometimes happens and it drives me crazy!!). Sometimes I feel like they are still married and I am get an extra :(

I love my fiance and his kids, and want to marry him, but I DESPISE his ex wife and really don't know how much more of her I can handle.

I have no rights as a "step mom" and honestly neither does my fiance as their own father. The courts take whatever the bio mom says as the truth even though she is one of the biggest liars I know. What should I do about my relationship and what rights do I actually have.

I know I should probably talk to him about this as well but I am not sure how to do it without sounding like he needs to put his kids to the side and focus on me and my feelings, or without him blowing up about how he doesnt love her anymore. HELP PLEASE!
Countrymomma24 Countrymomma24
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 7, 2013

love his kids more then him see the difference

Oh Wow! Let me tell ya........If he is the type to blow up.....then decide now where you stand! I firsthand know that no matter what the ex does, if they have children together she will always be first and never ever are you allowed to say a word about her
(even if she tries to run you off the interstate at 90 mph, even if she calls 5 days no less a week NOT concerning the kids, even if she comes to your house several times a week NOT to pick up the kids.etc).

Oh he can most likely say whatever he wants to about your ex's, even if they are leaving you alone and causing no harm to your relationship.

I know it's hard and if you love him do what you know is best and Good Luck!