Second Or Should I Say Third Wife?

I too am the victim of being second or should I say third wife? The second wife is not really a problem anymore but the first is always making sure she talks to my husband all the time. She is remarried for almost 12 years now but still uses my husband for whatever she wants. She calls him and says I just thought you would want to support your daughter whenever she has something she has going on. She has done this forever. She was really into beauty pageants and it was more she than the daughter. But she used my husbands guilt for her own satisfaction.

I am so tired of putting up with her and the daughter who is now 19 and uses her dad's guilt anytime she wants something.

Anyone been there done that?

stepmonster stepmonster
46-50, F
6 Responses Aug 16, 2007

His daughters is 19?? Im pretty sure she knows how to use a phone... Tell your husband he doesnt need to talk to his EX anymore... If he cares about how you feel, he wont!

ladies ladies ladies - u signed up for marrying a guy with not one but 2 ex wives and with children- i suggest you watch the movie "the parent trap"- a real man/father will always side with his children and the mother of his children. period.<br />
<br />
u can either 1. live ur life with eny and jealosy<br />
or 2. move on and finsd someone else.<br />
<br />
thats exactly what i did- i couldnt handle the fact that my ex was still in love with wife # 2!!!! I was deniel for so long!!!!! sure he was married to me, we bought a house, travelled, but in the end i wasnt secure enough to handle it because in the end I knew he cared for me but he wasnt in love with me-<br />
I have found a wonderful man now- that i dotn feel threatened by his former wife and daughter- his former wife is gorgous and is nice! he lives for his 15 year old daughter- sometimes on the weekend he will go to his daughters soccer games, the ex wife is there- they hangout and sometimes they go grab lunch-i am out having lunch with my girlfriends or taking my own daughter to a a mommy and me spa day- and my step daughter adores me because i allow her to have one on one time with BOTH her parents and i dotn give anyone a hard time. so why the difference??? because i know and feel this guy trully loves me and is into me- and i admire how he cares for the mother of his daughter and his daughter! because now i am a secure a woman, a good stepmother to my stepdaughter with no jealosies and envy towards her or her mon(and hello beleive me they -the kids especially the girls pick up on this!)<br />
<br />
hope this helps some of u find true happiness!

Hi girl, I really feel for you. Read my story! And I agree with savvymermaid and botable! Write me anytime.

It has to come from him. I tried to help my husband see what was going on and just alienated him. It wasn't until I backed off, the daughter showed her true colors as well and he was done. It took us 20 years but he's done

You might want to ask your husband if he has set a date at which he will stop giving in to his daughter and ex. When his daughter is out of college? Married? At what point? If he doesn't know, ask him to think about it. I bet he's still feeling guilty in a big way. At what point will he stop letting guilt run his (and your) life?

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