Is It Too Late?

I am at a lose as to what to do about my situation. I have been married for 16 years. I knew when we got married that he had a son. The bio mother would not let my husband see him though. Therefore, he was not in our life. My husband and I had two children together. He is a wonderful father. Our kids love him more than anything.
The son that he had prior to our relationship has been in and out of our life. The bio mom would get mad and decide not to let my husband see him anymore.
His son is now 18 and living with us. He walks around with a chip on his shoulder (which I completely understand). I know that he does drugs and has gotten in trouble with the law. I care about this boy but I do not want his influence on my children. I am starting to resent my husband for putting me and our family through this. I love my husband and our family but I just don't know how much longer I can do this. The sad thing is, I know if I made him choose his son or me - he would choose me. I don't want that. I know I am rambling, I just can not seem to figure out how to handle all of this.
The bio mother is of no help!!! She has alienated their son against his father, all of his life. She is a miserable person and she tries to make our life miserable. (She even called our daughter a "*****", when our daughter was only 8 years old - if that will tell you what kind of person she is)
On many days, all I can think about is why did I marry this man? If only I knew then, what I know now!!! Is is too late?
stuck29 stuck29
36-40
1 Response May 6, 2012

I don't think its too late. I do however think that dh needs to do something about it before you snap. That boy is 18 years old and should have a job and be in school. Give him rules and if he don't abide by them he can leave. He's 18 and legally an adult. I do feel for him because he really doesn't know his dad well and now lives with him.But that is no excuse for drug use or disrespecting your hom. I have ss and could never give an ultimatum to my dh...but If dh didn't stand up and defend our home and children I would have to do it myself and if dh left it would be his choice. I am at my wits end now with my ss but me and dh are slowly working on him. We just have different ways of raising children!!! Frustrating! ! But he's not 18 and his bm is not in the picture a little different. Stand your ground that's your home that you worked for not him!!! If he can't get along with the flow of your household he can go back to his bm!!!