When Is Enough..enough?

My husband's mother is best friends with his ex - she had a son with another man while they were married and put our stepchildren through a lot of abuse. My husband's mother considers my husband's ex's son like her grandchild & even will take care of him so the ex can go out & party. My stepchildren live with my mother in law because she feels my husband is an unfit father and their biological mother does not want them around.

This past summer the biological mother came to visit the kids, she took the youngest who will be turning 5 in a couple of weeks to spend the summer with her. No one told my husband, except for a few days after when my mother in law called to ask for money to get his son back because apparently he was too much for the BM to take care of. She couldn't even take care of him for a week. My husband put his foot down and said no, because she took him and no one had the nerve to tell him. So the two older girls spent the summer with us. A few weeks later, the BM finally comes drop him off at my mother in laws - only drop off her other son there too for the night. The next day apparently, she came over to pick him up, "very tired because where she stayed they kept her up the whole night" and crashed on the sofa for hours. And there my husband and I (very pregnant) waiting for his son to come stay for the summer.

Another is the ex tries to contact my husband online instead of calling the kids to wish them a merry Christmas, happy birthday, or New Years. Or calls his mother yelling because we got married without her consent and we had our baby. She knew he remarried because she once came over to his mother's house begging to get him back. My husband and I were dating and we went to visit his mother - my husband became infuriated and could not believe that she had the nerve to show up there or the fact that his mother would be so accommodating to her. He felt insulted and betrayed. That night proved that my husband would always pick me over her. Because he told her to her face that I was the love of his life.

We have a 4 month old son together, I work full time - my husband stays home with our son. After work, I go home to my husband & son - cook, clean the house, most of the household duties and stay up with our son whenever he wakes up at night. I get roughly 4 hours of sleep at night and they are not consecutive. His mother feels I am an unfit mother always judging how I care for MY son. This causes problems with my husband and me because the second she walks through the door my life is put on hold and there is a stormy cloud dripping judgmental words from her mouth over my head. Always thinking my son is sick because he cries. BABIES CRY. My 5 year old stepson cries for every little thing and my son can't make a peep because that automatically means he's sick?! I get in a bad mood and take it out on my husband. I frankly feel insulted by her comments because I am responsible mother and wife and I go out of my way to make my stepchildren feel comfortable at home. Why doesn't she tell that to his ex to care for her own kids?

She thinks she's so amazing - the kids don't even know how to KNOCK before entering our room or understand that if we're sleeping it's NOT ok to be in our room. These kids can't even serve themselves something to drink much less bathe on their own. Or how about not going through people's things? She's always telling us to seek marital help and God because we have an "unstable" relationship. Whenever my husband or I tell the kids something or try to teach them something she totally tells them the opposite of what we try to teach them "MORALS".

She's divorced and still flirts with my father-in-law who remarried. She even became friends his wife. And talks horrible things about her behind her back. Both his older siblings are divorced. My parents are still married after almost 30 years together. I'm not saying my family is better, but his family has no room to talk. I witnessed a good marriage and good parenting. I married my husband regardless of his past & children because I love my husband. But sometimes it's little things that can offset the scale. Maybe I'm the weird one for being raised how I was raised because my parents taught me to respect BUT when is enough enough?
gane5 gane5
Dec 6, 2012