It Drives Me Insane

I need something to preoccupy my brain. I can't stand just sitting there alone with my thoughts. I'm not one for watching tv but if it can stop me from thinking too much then I do it. When I'm alone my mind starts to wander into very bad places. I start to think of the negative aspects of things. My mind tends to hop from one thing to another and as I go it just gets worse. I start to think so much that it hurts. Something so simple can thread on into something bigger if I sit with myself for even 5 minutes. It drives me insane because I over analyze things so much that it starts to cause a physical pain in my chest. It starts to feel like i'm this tiny bird that someone just grabbed out of the air and crushed it until its ribs caved my heart starts to pace so quickly that I feel like its going to explode. I can't breathe at all and it feels like I'm going to pass out. It just makes me go so insane until finally my mind just crashes. It goes blank. I feel nothing, literally, nothing at all. My thought process just drops and the majority of the time I just forget what ever made me like that in the first place. I don't like to be left alone with my thoughts mainly because I just don't like forgetting...

HanaNoMizu HanaNoMizu
26-30, F
2 Responses Jan 21, 2009

Beautiful read dear. You're not alone.

I am the same my love. We will work a way through it.