I Hate Being Alone But I Am Doom To It.
I have been alone for 24 years and i didn't know that there is a higher disadvantage of this kind of routine in one's daily life. I am asking myself wither this thing is inborn or not, however, i always ended up to nothing. I want to be around with people, get to know them, experience life together with them and shares my thoughts to them, but I just couldn't handle my fear of not having a proper communication with them. This is the result of being alone, watching tv whole day, games all day, reading without understanding, feeling very anxious, and thinking all the "what ifs" in this world, etc. I didn't see this stuff this past few years. I just saw them now after I got married. And now, I am afraid that my marriage might end up to nothing and i dont want that. I just want to be happy, but what is the reason why I couldn't do so? I hate myself=(