Being Alone Too Much Is Not Good.

      I have been single for over a year. Most of my family dislikes my lesbian lifestyle so they do not invite me over for the holidays or birthday celebrations. My mom passed away one day after Thanksgiving, last year. The past two years has been really tough on me because i have had to start over by going to school to learn a new trade so i can start a new career. Not much fun for someone at 45 years of age.

     I was alone last Christmas, I was alone this Thanksgiving and it looks like I will be alone for Christmas this year as well. I get up every morning and go to school, then come home where i stay until the next day when i go to school. I watch television and talk to my basset hound dog named Isabella. I never leave the house unless it is to go to school. I know this is not healthy but it is all i can do right now, because i don't have a job and the money is very low, so all i can afford to do is sit and stare at the four walls all the time. It has been this way for about 3 months now. I know that i am depressed but there is nothing that can be done for me right now.

     I love a wonderful  woman that i cannot be with. she lives in Georgia and has her own life over there. I would like for one time for things to go my way and that I could get back on my feet and also to be with the woman I love. I would like nothing more than to have her in my arms for the holidays. However, for now, All I can do is dream.

confusedone confusedone
41-45, F
3 Responses Dec 20, 2009

That's a shame about your family. Sometimes it's hard to believe we're in the 21st century.

Thank you PurpleCactus, It is really a bad situation. I am proud of who I am, but my family hates that I am a lesbian. I have been alone before and I'm sure this Christmas won't be the last time. I am looking for my soulmate and I hopefully will find her. However, I know that cannot happen until I get a job and get my life back together. I am a really good person who has had a run of bad luck for about two years. I'm sure the tide will turn soon and things will look up for me. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a happy New year.

My heart truly goes out for your cause confusedone. I'm sorry to hear that your family isn't accepting of your lifestyle, because it truly is something you should be proud of. Everyone is different, and how they live their life is up to themselves. I know how it is to want to be with someone else and in that respect I truly understand how it feels. <br />
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Just know that you are not alone and that there is always someone who is willing to reach out and help. <br />
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I pray that you are not alone this holiday.