Bipolar Ii?????? Give Me Hypomania Anyday!
I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder in 2002. I was originally diagnosed with depression and anxiety in 2000. For some reason that was okay. But Bipolar???? That meant I was "crazy"! Everybody gets depressed and anxious sometimes, but the label Bipolar really struck me...wrong! But now 2010...I am definately classic Bipolar II. My downs are really downs....my highs are mild but still, I can tell a difference. Especially in my speech, my self-esteem, my energy level, etc. I mean I don't go on spending sprees or stay up till all hours of the night cleaning etc. But I am more social, more daring, talkative, outgoing, happy, etc. To me hypomania is great!!! The down side is eventually depression comes in and steals my happiness away. Like now....I am so depressed! I am on medication, but as you know if you are on this site...it's not a cure. I have had many triggers to put me in depression the main one being I just lost my father. But among losing him, in the past three years...I have lost a family of 20 years, husband and three children to divorce, jobs (countless), homes, a car, a few boyfriends, and am now living with my mother, whom I have never had a close relationship with. I was definately a daddy's girl. I have a new boyfriend for the past 7 months now....he is great, but I can tell I'm am wearing on him. He says he understands, and wants to marry me....I'm thinking you are just as crazy as I am! Anyway....that's just the tip of the ice berg of my journey with bipolar II disorder. I have attempted suicide once...unsucessfully aparrently! But tend to obsess about it often, especially when depressed. Bipolar is an illness, and there is plenty of suffering involved and I just want to stop suffering! Well, enough about me for now, your responses, comments, etc. would be welcome! By the way I just applied, or actually contacted a lawyer today about receiving disability for my illness. I have not held a job for longer than a year since 1999!!!! But my pride and my Hypomania seem to kick in and I haven't applied/or attempted to apply until now. Please pray for me that it is accepted. I am legally responsible for my mentally retarded sister if anything should happen to my mom. I am her legal guardian. Not only can I not hold a job due to bipolar disorder, I will not be able to work once my sister becomes my full responsibility.