Bipolar Ii?????? Give Me Hypomania Anyday!

I was diagnosed with Bipolar II disorder in 2002.  I was originally diagnosed with depression and anxiety in 2000.  For some reason that was okay.  But Bipolar???? That meant I was "crazy"!  Everybody gets depressed and anxious sometimes, but the label Bipolar really struck me...wrong!  But now 2010...I am definately classic Bipolar II.  My downs are really highs are mild but still, I can tell a difference.  Especially in my speech, my self-esteem, my energy level, etc.  I mean I don't go on spending sprees or stay up till all hours of the night cleaning etc.  But I am more social, more daring, talkative, outgoing, happy, etc.  To me hypomania is great!!!  The down side is eventually depression comes in and steals my happiness away.  Like now....I am so depressed!  I am on medication, but as you know if you are on this's not a cure.  I have had many triggers to put me in depression the main one being I just lost my father.  But among losing him, in the past three years...I have lost a family of 20 years, husband and three children to divorce, jobs (countless), homes, a car, a few boyfriends,  and am now living with my mother, whom I have never had a close relationship with.  I was definately a daddy's girl.  I have a new boyfriend for the past 7 months now....he is great, but I can tell I'm am wearing on him.  He says he understands, and wants to marry me....I'm thinking you are just as crazy as I am!  Anyway....that's just the tip of the ice berg of my journey with bipolar II disorder.  I have attempted suicide once...unsucessfully aparrently!  But tend to obsess about it often, especially when depressed.  Bipolar is an illness, and there is plenty of suffering involved and I just want to stop suffering!  Well, enough about me for now, your responses, comments, etc. would be welcome!  By the way I just applied, or actually contacted a lawyer today about receiving disability for my illness.  I have not held a job for longer than a year since 1999!!!!  But my pride and my Hypomania seem to kick in and I haven't applied/or attempted to apply until now.  Please pray for me that it is accepted.  I am legally responsible for my mentally retarded sister if anything should happen to my mom.  I am her legal guardian.  Not only can I not hold a job due to bipolar disorder, I will not be able to work once my sister becomes my full responsibility.

ccb123 ccb123
36-40, F
4 Responses Apr 15, 2010

If you can't hold a job do to your bipolar, then maybe you should aslo apply for disability. Because bipolar can be very disabling. I can't hold a job, take care of kids, and runa house hold. My brain would crash. I would break down. I haven't applied for disability because I am fairly functioning on my meds. Which I do take regularly. (If I don't there are consequences.) so anyway, maybe that is something you can look into.

Hey there i was diagnosed with depression and anxiety before bipolar disorder and I know what you mean, Everything seems better then having this, I hope you recieved a chance to obtain disabillity because this disorder can affect your ability to work and the depressive moods can cause you to miss work or not work to your best ability.

"Go raw vegan"...what horrible and irresponsible advice!!! Yes, bipolars must watch what they consume, but that's mostly caffine and sugar. I was a vegan for years and mixed with bipolar it led to annoroxia. For alot of us, restrictive diets can be deadly. I know, I spent a month in the hospital for being a "vegan". Also depriving your brain of the fats it needs to functure properly is a terrible idea for obvious reasons. So nice advice there...don't believe everything you read and trust what your body needs. The last thing someone with bipolar needs is to be unhealthy phsically. <br />
Take your meds. I know they suck. Listen to your dr. (if you have one you trust). Set up a support system. Have a plan in place in case something goes wrong. <br />
This disease is deadly...just as deadly as cancer, good point. Let's not forget that. A stigma is only a stigma cause we allow it to be. I tell people all the time, I'm bipolar. Kinda changes thier opion of what a bipolar person is. Think about it and never be ashamed of who you are. Like my awesome Dr. says, "I'm not ashamed I have asthma, and it would never cross my mind to not take my asthma what makes you different?"

Best of luck to you EP mate... I do hope your new attorney succeeds in making sure your needs and rights are met. Mental illnesses are to be taken seriously.