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Just Tell Me What's Up And I Will Leave You Alone

People who know me well know I hate being ignored. It's not a narcissitic thing by any means. I don't feel that I am God's gift to anyone or that anyone owes it to me to pay attention to me at all times. I don't expect much out of any of my friends....just be there for me, share in my joys and laughter, and have fun. However, if I message you and you choose to ignore me, then that really sets me off. Especially when one knows that is my biggest pet peeve. Ok, I really shouldn't be saying this because now it's out in the open and everyone will really know how to get under my skin...not that I give anyone a reason to **** me off. See, I treat people with respect and never do anything to them that I would not want done to me. So when I am ignored, I see it as very disrepectful, distasteful and intentional. My friends usually do not do this to me...I am not offensive and I respect everyone's space. I do not like to bother people and I don't like to feel that way. When I don't get a return acknowledgment even just to say, I got your message but I am busy...I will message you later, then that tells me you don't care and that what I want doesn't matter. I also see it as a control issue. The person who doesn't respond back has the ball in their court and they are in control. I tend to stay away from people like this because I don't have time for games, which is exactly what it is. I can understand if one is busy at the time...but don't even bother messaging back 12 hours later and give some lame excuse about why you didn't get back to me. I see it as even more of an insult to my intelligence that anyone would think that I am dumb enough to fall for excuses. This is the main reason that I am never the first to call, text, or message someone whom I want an instant response from and I am upfront with all my friends about this. I never put myself in a position to feel like I am being ignored. But there are very rare times when I will do it and I take my chances because I have something I want to say or tell the person. That just sets me up for disappointent though and I learn that it's just best to let everyone else do the texting if they feel they want to talk to me.
Txsmom Txsmom 41-45, F 12 Responses Apr 28, 2012

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Oh I totally agree. This is absolutely one of the most efficient ways to annoy the hell out of me. It's like telling me that I mean nothing without having to tell it to my face. <br />
And the worst thing is that it happens to me a lot.

I am sorry to hear that it happens to you a lot. I have to admit, I really don't have this problem as much as I have had in the past. The way I look at it, is that people who do it are just not worthy of your time! Keep you head up and don't let others control the way you feel!

Thank you for your supportive reply, I appreciate it a lot :-) You are right, I shouldn't let others control my feelings and yes, I waste my time with such people, as they don't care anyway. Glad that this is not much of a problem for you any more.

how could anyone ignore u gorgeous

Yup, it is irritating when a person doesn't response. But sometimes they might ignore unintentionally. This happens sometimes. I sometimes forget to call back or text them but I really respect them.

Oh yeah, with you on this one. Even in disagreements its better to talk it through. Just walking away and ignoring someone is IGNORANT and COWARDLY. I have no time whatsoever for ppl who ignore others. They totally lose ALL respect I ever had for them. Like you say, it takes SECONDS to reply "busy busy chat soon :) "

Thank you so much for commenting! I have found that quite a few people agree with me. I have learned to let it go most of the time...sometimes I get busy and forget people although I try hard not to. I don't want others to think it's all about me LOL. I will say this though...there are are a few RARE occasions when I WILL walk away from someone. When I cannot reason with someone who is being irrational and possibly even belligerent, and I have made a good faith effort to try, I will turn around and walk away.

Now thats different. Nobody has to put up with ABUSE. Damn right walking away in that situation

I feel the same way!!

i have the same pet peeve! in fact, i have a similar story about it. please know that i will never intentionally ignore you. but i am sometimes guilty of being logged in to EP while im away from the computer. however im trying to get better at changing my status message to show that im away :)

Good to know I am not alone. Sometimes I walk away myself and get sidetracked and forget that I was logged on. Also EP freezes a lot so when I am chatting, I sometimes show as logged off! It is really pretty aggravating!

God, I am just like you in this respect. I try hard to not let it bother me, but sometimes it still does. Can't help being human. I could vent for an hour on this subject. <br />
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I do reach out and text first, because if we all waited, nobody would talk to anyone. Sometime as a compromise, i just won't write a long message because I get a higher expectation of a return message if I write a lot. I think long messages make the recipient feel like they have to write a lot back, so perhaps this causes them to procrastinate? I've learned to not take it so personal, to lower or eliminate my expectations of a return message and to just do my own things and try to be happy, oh, and to not give too much of my time to these types of people (even if they are close family or someone you love). And when I mean time I include not thinking about them too much. By doing this, we free ourselves for those who will share themselves with us. It allows us time to meet these new people who better match our likes and needs. <br />
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It's taken me a long time to learn these things. Call me a slow learner😃.

Wow thank you for sharing that! I totally agree with you...I have always had high expectations and have been told that I should lower them. I hate to expect things from people but I tend to do that because of the way I am..I feel people should be just like me and if I wouldn't do it, I expect them not to or vice versa. I am trying hard to stop being that way and learn to be the first to initiate....it is so hard but sometimes I really want to talk to someone and get disappointed when I am let down. Who can blame me? :)

I know. Well, im a good responder, so you can write and talk to me anytime. I'll always answer😃

Just so you know, I would never ignore you babe :)<br />
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You have my undying love <3

Thank you! :) I didn't think anyone would ignore me, especially my friends! I have been known to be wrong before!

You're never wrong in this guy's book.

I can relate to an extent. being Ignored is probably the biggest thing that sets me off. Although I'm a little more laid back with it than you are It still gets under my skin so I know how you feel. The one time I can remember that I almost lost my **** was back in high school when I had asked a good friend at the time a few questions looking him in the eye and he just turned and started talking to someone else as if I wasn't there. It set me off into a state of rage. Although later it made more sense, I guess he felt guilty because he was trying to split my girl friend at the time and myself up. Later on I handled him and he still apologizes to this day 14 years later.

Yes, I would be aggravated as well over what your "friend" did. It is definitely more serious when you are standing in front of someone who totally ignores you when you speak to them. I have gotten a little less anal about it as I have gotten older but it also depends on the situation and the excuse I'm given. If I know for a fact I was ignored, then I feel I have the right to get mad. I am a little more laid back than I used to be and really just try to go with the flow. The way I see it, is if someone doesn't want to talk to me or they aren't interested, then it's their loss, and I just move on. There are really more important and pressing things for me to worry about than being snubbed! :)

I agree completely with you. I've actually implemented a scale that I use for these scenarios. Every time I get snubbed depending on the degree they move lower on my priority list. So if it's a friend that doesn't reply for any reason then they lower their status in my eyes and soon I will stop contacting them. It doesn't mean I won't like them anymore but more i'm not going to waste my time trying to play a game. I had a long conversation with one of my friends about this and he later realized what I was talking about and started to be better with his replies. It's not that difficult to be courteous but sometimes it can be hard to keep up with replying.

No one like to be ignored, I'm sure it does not feel nice to be the person being ignored. Sometimes people don't answer us at the same moment but that does not mean they are ignoring us. From experience it is hard to ignore someone like you ;)

And I would never ignore someone like you....in fact I always looked forward to hearing from you. Always. Maybe I had something important to tell this person and they missed out on the chance! But now the moment is gone.

Sounds arresting! You can tell it to me if you want ;)

:) oh you wouldn't want to hear it. You'd have to have been there and seen it to know what I'm talking about! ; )

try me!

Hmm, I don't text people so you'd have to text me...

try that too, it will feel nice to see that your text got a reply :D

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Why would someone want to ignore you? I find that rude also. It only takes a minute to respond back.

Lol well maybe because he felt he had a reason to....which there never is a good reason. But thanks for your comments, I have not let it affect me one bit. I am a better person for it!

Well he doesn't think he is but that's ok. Maybe I am overreacting. I just dropped it and moved on. I am not the big texter type so I doubt I will ever message anyone. I hate misunderstandings and feeling rejected. Thanks though!

Well thank you so much! He doesn't think he ignored me but I still feel blown off.

Lol Some people are just too sensitive...she didn't like you calling her down on it! I say good riddance.