My Wife Of 22 Years Has Taught My Son (17years Old) Of Ignoring Me

I just got a separation from my wife of 22 years, and the son that I have raised (was an full time stay home dad and gave up my aspiring career to become one to take care of him) is ignoring me, buy stop texting me,or calling on the phone or anything ) my wife has done that for years on end, Stop talking to me for weeks on end (i was told that's a sort of abuse) and know she has taught my son to do the same thing, Which makes me cry (and I don't cry, i'm a big man only time i cried was when i passed kidney stones)

ancientaa ancientaa
46-50, M
4 Responses May 6, 2012

I hate when people put kids in the middle of a break up - that happened to me when my son was young. his dad would tell him everything was my fault and for years (even tho he lived with me) blamed me - finally we sat down and talked thru all the lies that he had heard and realize the truth. Keep talking to your son - leave messages reminding him that you love him. He will come around. Hope this helps some.

Hey<br />
Some women are extremely vindictive, your Son will come round. I do really know how you feel though, I hate being ignored I think it it truly rude.<br />
I have a step Daughter who thinks she can ignore her own Grand Parents, Auntie, and My Sons, this Step Daughter is 25 y. Really rude, really spoilt. Doing this because she takes her Mothers side, which is what your Son is doing at the moment, Son's do move on, Daughters thats another issue, lets talk more if you wish

If the wife is abusing you need to get couseling and change that relationship. for the son sounds like a two week trip with no cell phones or friends but the two of you. put him in situation where he has to interacted and do things together. summer is coming school will be out take some time if need be all summer. lol point here is you raised him yes but show him how to respond. you also may need that time to get to know who with out blinders your son really is. with the seperation too may be some anger there and you have to get him to see you as a human being with flaws and dont think hiding information will make it better, just be honest with him. but dont bash your wife or x he does not want that and will resent it in the long run. <br />
remember you said the key here my wife has turned him. she is his mother and they get some of both gens but know he could have recieved a few more of hers than yours. given time this will play out. understand it is not your fault, i have a cousin whos daughter does things she can not understand father and mother are struggleing with her. i reminded her of her grandmother which is the girls great grandmother and that at times these gens fall out of the closet nothing can change it. you put in your time stick it out either he will become more responsive or he want. also at 17 to 20 i think there are some that are self absorbed with friends and dont have a clue as to family. remind him and keep that line open good luck and let him know you are there for him and love him.

Thanks i keep hereing you advice, but i try and i try! If i had any patience i could write a book! (maybe thats why i cant write a giid one (no patience)!). But i will keep your advice in my notepad on my iphone to keep reminding myself about being patience (i wish spell chcker worked for my iphone)
Thanks for the advice

Hi there , yes it s a abuse. But think your son will come back too you , perhaps give it some ( more !!) time.<br />
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Good luck.....<br />
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I will try to wait thanks!