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My Wife Of 22 Years Has Taught My Son (17years Old) Of Ignoring Me

I just got a separation from my wife of 22 years, and the son that I have raised (was an full time stay home dad and gave up my aspiring career to become one to take care of him) is ignoring me, buy stop texting me,or calling on the phone or anything ) my wife has done that for years on end, Stop talking to me for weeks on end (i was told that's a sort of abuse) and know she has taught my son to do the same thing, Which makes me cry (and I don't cry, i'm a big man only time i cried was when i passed kidney stones)

ancientaa ancientaa 46-50, M 5 Responses May 6, 2012

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I hate when people put kids in the middle of a break up - that happened to me when my son was young. his dad would tell him everything was my fault and for years (even tho he lived with me) blamed me - finally we sat down and talked thru all the lies that he had heard and realize the truth. Keep talking to your son - leave messages reminding him that you love him. He will come around. Hope this helps some.

Hey<br />
Some women are extremely vindictive, your Son will come round. I do really know how you feel though, I hate being ignored I think it it truly rude.<br />
I have a step Daughter who thinks she can ignore her own Grand Parents, Auntie, and My Sons, this Step Daughter is 25 y. Really rude, really spoilt. Doing this because she takes her Mothers side, which is what your Son is doing at the moment, Son's do move on, Daughters thats another issue, lets talk more if you wish

If the wife is abusing you need to get couseling and change that relationship. for the son sounds like a two week trip with no cell phones or friends but the two of you. put him in situation where he has to interacted and do things together. summer is coming school will be out take some time if need be all summer. lol point here is you raised him yes but show him how to respond. you also may need that time to get to know who with out blinders your son really is. with the seperation too may be some anger there and you have to get him to see you as a human being with flaws and dont think hiding information will make it better, just be honest with him. but dont bash your wife or x he does not want that and will resent it in the long run. <br />
remember you said the key here my wife has turned him. she is his mother and they get some of both gens but know he could have recieved a few more of hers than yours. given time this will play out. understand it is not your fault, i have a cousin whos daughter does things she can not understand father and mother are struggleing with her. i reminded her of her grandmother which is the girls great grandmother and that at times these gens fall out of the closet nothing can change it. you put in your time stick it out either he will become more responsive or he want. also at 17 to 20 i think there are some that are self absorbed with friends and dont have a clue as to family. remind him and keep that line open good luck and let him know you are there for him and love him.

Thanks i keep hereing you advice, but i try and i try! If i had any patience i could write a book! (maybe thats why i cant write a giid one (no patience)!). But i will keep your advice in my notepad on my iphone to keep reminding myself about being patience (i wish spell chcker worked for my iphone)
Thanks for the advice

some women are just pretty mean and vindictive; they act like little kids by taking the men's money,house and turning their kids against their fathers. I don't understand your son; you raised him full time, yet he sides with your soon to be ex wife. maybe you can remind your son of how you were there for him, and how much you love him.

I do! Just the other day i tricked him to respond to me by text (to see if he was alive or not)? I asked him i was in town for a few minutes (driving from another town) and asked if he wanted to meet (which i already knew the answer) which was "No"! So i replyed
"my prayer to the heven's has been answered, he's alive"!! Of course back to the silent treatment!

that's sad :(((( it makes me angry when mothers keep kids aways from their fathers especially great father like you. Let's hope one day; your son will know the truth about his mother, and know the truth about true parent.

i am glad to help but i have a problem with what you are saying here. think about what you just said i tricked him to reply. send the message you love him and if he needs you let you know. no games the last thing he needs is games from both parents. just be honest with him when you are wanting a answer. and know he is still growing up and needs that time to understand. but if you play tricks he will fall even more into silent treatment. when he is an adult and does this be heavior at some point you will have to with draw he made his choice. but always let him know you care that will never change. i think you do need that couseling from someone who can help you break this cycle dont keep up the same behaviors you had while with your wife. you are on a slippery slope and if you are not careful you will destroy the chance you could have had with your son. good luck i hope you can work this out.

Hi there , yes it s a abuse. But think your son will come back too you , perhaps give it some ( more !!) time.<br />
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Good luck.....<br />
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I will try to wait thanks!