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A Lie Can Travel Half Way Around The World While The Truth Is Putting On Its Shoes.

He thinks that he can just blink and it will all go away, but it stays with me every minute of every day. It follows me around like a prison guard, affecting my every move. I need to be careful not to step out of line, or I will be sorry. Why is it that he is the one who committed the crime but I feel like I am doing his time. He is the one who lied and cheated for over a year behind my back. As I worked and took care of the house, I grew to resent him for not helping me out when I needed him, I thought he was selfish for choosing to spend his time on things he wanted to do instead of the things that needed to be done.

If I only knew then, what I know now, I could have saved myself a great deal of pain, confusion and frustration. But I believed him. You could not imagine the lies he told me that I bought hook line and sinker.  He took advantage of my trust and spewed lie after lie as if it were second nature. He told so many lies that I think he has convinced himself of their validity.

I watched as his treachery ate through my family like hydrofluoric acid. At first you have no idea it's even there, which allows it to seep, deep into anything and everything it touches. By the time the destructive menace is unearthed, there is virtually nothing anyone can do to impede the complete annihilation of everything that happens to be in its general vicinity.  It is not difficult to deceive the first time, because the deceived possesses no antibodies; unvaccinated by suspicion, I overlooked lateness, accepted absurd excuses, permitted the flimsiest patching to repair the greatest cracks in the quotidian.
 
Ask yourself this…. If you got an Email from someone you trusted, you would open their attachment if they sent one, wouldn’t you? Even though it may be a different file type each time, come at a different time of day, or it may look different every time…. Regardless of how this Email is packaged or marketed, every time you receive an Email from this one particular person, you get a horrible, nasty virus that wipes your hard-drive and you lose all your data. Would you continue to open this person’s Email?

But what if they promised you, swore on your children’s lives, begged and pleaded for you to open this file? How many times would you allow yourself to be duped?  After a while, you need to buy yourself a heavy-Duty virus scanner to thoroughly scan any attachments that get sent by this person, and even then you are still a bit apprehensive downloading anything. . . If these viruses caused you to lose every important document you have…. How long would it be before you let your guard down and were able to freely download files from this individual? 
TypicalPisces TypicalPisces 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 3, 2010

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Up until now, you did what you did for love; love for your husband and love for your family.



I think you know the answer to the question you pose, but, in the language of your analogy, I think:

Yes, you do need a Virus-Scanner for the emails he sends to your mind, the best money can buy!

BUT, girlfriend it is time to REFUSE DELIVERY of every email he addresses to your heart!



I am hoping you will forgive yourself for the past, but you will find that difficult, probably impossible, if you are still opening his emails and are subsequently greeted by the stench of hydrochloric Acid!! I truly hope that chapter has come to an end. BTW, I'd bet my bottom dollar that, although in some recess of his mind he knows he has lied, he believes many, maybe even most, of the tales he has told you. The 'best' liars do.



The fact that you believed him and even that you gave him a second chance bears witness to your amazing capacity to love...but I urge you, protect your heart. If you find yourself still receiving those toxic emails, but for whatever reason don't want to or can't leave him, promise me you'll put your heart and emotions on lock down and stop engaging in the caring kinds of behaviors that tend to make us vulnerable (don't put his needs before yours, stop doing the extra things for him, demand he carry his weight chores wise, etc.).



My heart is with you girlfriend....soon I hope we'll both fly.....