Completely Pointless...

My boyfriend of a year recently broke up with me because apparently he didn't really feel the way he said he did. He would go to extremes to tell me he loved me, too. He often would say he wanted a life with me, that I was his best friend, that I was all he wanted and needed, that I had 100% of his heart and 99% of his soul, that we were bound together, that I was fulfilling dreams for him, etc.. At times it did seem forced or like he was trying to convince himself but mostly he seemed sincere. The times it didn't seem sincere were weird but I would have never thought he didn't mean what he was saying. Who does that? Well, he does I guess. When he left he said, "I tried". Lol
He made a fool out of me for a year. Why? I wasn't in need of constant reassurance or clingy or any of those things. I'm a pretty good girlfriend, actually. Not perfect, but still good. My point is I didn't make him feel like he had to say things he didn't mean to me. I don't see the point in that. What is really bothering me at this point, though is that although I can't wrap my head around that sort of mentality I am still desperately trying to figure it out. AAAHHHH!
GodsLilJester GodsLilJester
36-40, F
7 Responses Jul 11, 2010

The way he lied to you shows that the problem is with HIM not you. A liar has a serious personality defect. And to an honest person, it is impossible to understand. When I meet that type of person, I just consider the source and get them out of my life ASAP

Lol @ Shimmeringblack...<br />
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Hey, I hear you but what does any of what you said have to do with what I wrote? What you describe sounds horrible and obviously needed ending. The situation I was in was completely different. Like polar opposite actually. And, he didn't have any kids. What he said was about my son in front of my son. Seems to me you got over excited expecting to read the same ol' crap. Crap similar to yours. The person I was with was the instigator and admitted lying about everything the whole time we were together. He led the relationship in a direction he had no intention of ever following through with. To me that sort of thing is....I don't even have words for it. Really...why would a person do that? <br />
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Anyway, doesn't matter anymore. It's been a year since then. Oh, and guess what? He still calls and texts and tries to get me to hang out with him. Big surprise... <br />
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PS<br />
I can't speak for anyone else but I would never waste time being angry about something somebody I don't even know wrote. Most of what you said sounded completely valid anyway. It just had nothing to do with my situation. Thanks for sharing though :)

YAWN Let me just say one thing and ill leave all you ladys to hunt me down and burn me at the stake.<br />
I just ended a 4 or 5 month so called relationship that i was in. I ended it by never returning her phone calls you could say i just dropped out. First of the reason i dropped out was in the short time we were together she was needy clingy and was giving of the vibes of marrage and kids.<br />
Excuse me as i shake of that thought. Let me say one thing i have two boys of my own from different relationships. And i am happy with them. first of my youngest son and her fought all the time over me.Sigh first sign of troubles to come.Second she talks me into going to her friends wedding.Second sign of trouble. Third She is telling me i will change my mind about having kids in the future.LMFAO Third sign of Trouble. When she sings the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.<br />
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I can say this her daughter was really cool and my son loved her. but you dont attack a mans kid and expect him to choose you. A real man will take his kids side no matter what.<br />
And if you feel the need to drop out of a relationship because it just dont feel right better to do it early on then 5 years into it and drag more kids though the mud.<br />
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Well if i made you angry at me for the things said here im sorry but its the truth.....<br />
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Peace Shimmeringblack

Either way is fine. Just know that I'm prepared to use the fact that I have OCD as an excuse depending on the advice. Lol. Just kidding...about using it as an excuse I mean :p

Thank you for the advice! Well taken. The only thing is when we were together (he lives in a different city right now) he was very loving and seemed completely genuine. He seemed to have the out of site out of mind thing going on. As far as past relationships he was in...yes...I should have known better.<br />
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Any suggestion would be appreciated. Thank you :)

I'm very sorry to hear that. I can't relate to the game playing so many people seem to be just fine with. And, for the life of me I can't figure out what would make a person lie about something like this. It's so nonsensical! Not to mention painful and completely embarrassing. Grr! But what's really making me angry at this point is that I'm trying to understand it. I shouldn't be wasting my time on a person who could mess with 3 peoples lives like that. I suppose it's like you said...it's probably about closure. I wish I could tell you to get out now, but I know that's easier said then done. Especially, when they insist that they have these feelings for you even if they do at times act polar opposite. I hope one way or another things change for you soon. The longer it goes on the worse the pain, confusion, and embarrassment is.

O I can sooo relate to your story but I am going through it right now. He was all into me , and i was more cautious about it. And now that I am more in love, he is backing off. He won't give me closure and it's sooo confusing.