I have been seeing this guy for almost 3 yrs now. He lied to me. Cheated on me. Not once but twice. Finally got the courage to leave today. But I feel like I am dying inside. I breakup with him and go back all the time. I feel the pain in my heart and then I go back to him and the cycle continues. We fight but we say we love each other. First time I found out he had other girlfriends. I forgave him and took him back. Now it has happened again. I cant breathe. Someone help me. I am dying inside. I just want to breathe. Please help me breathe. Why is it so hard? Why couldn't he love me like he promised he would. Why did he have to cheat? why? I know its not my fault. But maybe it is.
NotGoodAtLove NotGoodAtLove
31-35, F
9 Responses Aug 31, 2014

Find someone else then you will forget him and if they treat u better you will realise hes not worth the tears

Long distance relationships do not work. You have no kids, financially independent. There no excuse for you to stay. You can't earn some1s love. It was no fault of own except getting into a long distant relationship

Never blame yourself for another man doing. If he loved you as much as he said he did cheating wouldn't be a thought or a act love is a strong drug u need to find someone that is even more hooked on you then you are them.

i feel sorry for u dear.but i have had same experiences too .let me ask u if u were served good healthy and junk food which one would u choose .let me tell u dnt let ur heart decide let ur brain do it
and keep praying if u beleive in god goog.dnt sit alone.and love urself.if u love urself u wnt let anyone hurt u. if u go back he will keep on hurting u with his lies.use ur brain

once the trust is gone it is gone. you will never feel secure with him. You deserve better that him. You will find the right guy you just need to be patient and realize you deserve more. a leopard cannot change no matter how much you wish. please move on.

Fool me once shame on me, fool me twice shame on you. There are to many unknown factors relating to your relationship. Financially dependency could be a one of the prime suspects, given you have been with him for 3 years. From the outside prospective you both seem to have different intentions, only one person is all in, while the other is in it for personal gain. After becoming aware of the cheating the first time, you only have your self to blame. I do not feel sorry for you after the instant.

We are both financially independent. Have been in a long distance relationship for a year because we are building our careers. I guess I trusted him when he promised that it wdnt happen again after the first time. I am optimistic like that. I found out 2 weeks ago that he was cheating again. cut off communication since then till this weekend. I left him today so it has been a nightmare of a fortnight.

There's nothing wrong with optimism. Be logical and realistic, and for god sakes make a pros and cons list. You did give your best effort, you can walk away with out regret. I do empathize with you, However it's hard to sympathize, after the first instant.

It is NOT ur fault. And it's SUPER difficult to stay away after u've mustered up the courage to leave, but please don't go back. U owe it to urself. He won't change his ways. And even if he does, it'll only be temporary. I'm exactly where u are right now. So trust me. I know the pain, I know the emotions ur struggling with. U NEED better. U can't continue to be treated like a door mat. 3 years is a long time so naturally u've come attached to him. Do regular activities to keep him off ur mind. Keep a few close friends, really close to thwart any attempts at contacting him. And DONT give in!! You can do it. There's a guy out there that will treat you a millions times better. I promise. 😁

Thank you. I am going to keep trying. It has to get better.

In this situation trust only your gut and mind, not your heart, your heart will confuse you and help make you make poor decisions like staying with a guy who so obviously doesn't care about hurting you if he's done it twice, leave while you still can and find someone better

How's it ur fault ?! Seriously !!
He's a di ck, I'm real sorry if what i just called him upset u but its the truth, if u ever want someone to talk to u can talk to me ^_^

Thank you for being kind. I agree, he is a ****. Till my stupid heart starts thinking for me.

Ur welcome ^_^