Poked And Prodded

I'm 38 weeks along and I absolutely hate everything about this process. I originally wanted to give my daughter up for adoption but my husband was just so excited and I felt that this was a decision we both needed to make. Little did I know that this entire pregnancy was going to be full of decisions that I would NEVER get to make. I'm tired of getting my blood drawn, getting IV's, antibiotics, giving urine, having fingers shoved into my cervix, being asked for sex by my husband, and having to talk about my personal going-ons on a weekly basis (stool frequency and consistency, cramping, etc). Its just not my body anymore. It belongs to everyone else including this baby who has decided to be breech. So now I get to enjoy surgery where I will once again be probed. Surprisingly, this entire experience has left me incredibly lonely despite what I expected. Maybe I'm craving some positive attention from someone?? Or maybe it would be nice if someone asked how I was doing.... not relative to the pregnancy!! I'm still a human with human needs even if I'm hosting a baby right now but everyone has forgotten that or they don't care.
pianochick5254 pianochick5254
18-21, F
4 Responses Dec 16, 2012

I'm currently 37 weeks and can't agree with you more! I just feel like my body is not mine anymore !

I know what you mean about your body being taken over....i hope you're able to finally feel normal!

I totally felt the same way. Your baby must be here now, so congrats!

Hi. Your hormones are playing up and Im not patronising you.You have someone there who loves and cares for you but like most men in hais situation feels helpless. I was the same[ twice] and why wouldnt he want to make love to you? Most men think[ know] that there partners are at there most beautiful when expecting there child.And you could make love quite safely and anyway. I think its wonderful to see that everyone goes through the same emotions as u.
Take heart. Love is all around.

I know my hormones are completely out of whack at this point lol. I'm just happy that it is almost over. I have accepted that I will not get the birth that I wanted, but I am thrilled that I still can have the same outcome - a baby. And I just haven't had a libido since the end of the first trimester. Sometimes I think it's harder on him because I put too much reliance on him to fix my feelings, when I could try harder to make sure he is okay too. I have gotten better at it and I think he realizes that I'm trying to not be so selfish. Love IS all around, I appreciate your support! :)