Some Times I Feel Like I Have Autism

I am shy......i am not just shy i am extreemly shy, when i was about 9 i used to sutter alot all kids in school made fun of me.
I went to 6 different schools and in each ever school people were always ask me why you are differend?, why you are acting like that?, why you can't be simpley normal?.......ect
i blame my self every day for any thing happen to me becuz i beileve if i wasn't shy that wouldn't happen to me.
I don't talk alot......actually i rarley say some thing becuz i am afraid that i will sutter and they all will fun of me again just like highschool.
I don't talk alot that's why i don't have friends and i will never have friends.
i can't look at people's eyes while i am talking to them, my own brother that i am living with him for the last 18 years i can't look at his face while i am talking to him.
I hate my self, i hate my life, i hate the way i talk, i hate the way i act and blame my self for being shy
i just don't know what to do
it's not normal i feel like i have some mental illness or some thing
comlpicatedguy comlpicatedguy
18-21, M
2 Responses Dec 12, 2012

I can relate with you on this feeling Mr. Complicated guy. This type of feeling really destroys us. Out of confidence we are being eaten by our insecurities. I can relate with your feelings on this my dear....

Well i definitely don't hate you. I think you're a really sweet guy, and i don't want you to talk about yourself like that!