Both Ways, Actually...

I hate being told I can't do something as in being unable to do it... I once stopped smoking (for 2 whole years) because my ex-husband told me I couldn't do it!!

More importantly, I hate being told I can't do something as in not being allowed to.  In fact, I hate being prescribed to... PERIOD!!  I'm in a new relationship with a pretty decisive man and, sadly, I see this as being a (HUGE) potential problem between us - he's constantly telling me WHAT to do, or HOW to do things I've done for a long time, or even what I CAN'T do and it drives me up the walls!  I don't even think he realises he's doing it, though :(  Still... until now, these "instructions" have been about stuff that aren't that important to me so I could easily just ignore them.  But one of these days, he's going to try with something that IS in fact important to me and I'm afraid that day there'll be the proverbial blood on the floor!
Lizzy22 Lizzy22
36-40, F
8 Responses Jul 16, 2010

I don't, in fact, always want to "get my way"!! Just when I want it :) I'm glad to have met a(nother) kindred spirit here on EP!

Dear Miss Lizzy, I've heard that the "art of diplomacy" is the ability to tell a man that he is an idiot and having him walk away with a smile on his face, after shaking your hand and slapping you on the back. It is obvious that you are talented enough, both mentally and physically, to be an excellent diplomat. Like me, you seem to be happy and satisfied as long as you get your way. Good luck.

It's getting better. I have talked to him about it... we've come to an agreement that I'm entitled to ignore him when he becomes bossy - I don't need to argue the point. It works for me. He doesn't much like being ignored, so he thinks about what he says (and HOW he says it).

You may want to consider settling this matter earlier, rather than later in your new relationship. You may be pleasantly surprised. Good luck.

Joyspring, I knew you'd get it!! Love you too - sometimes you're like the more sane half of my own thoughts :)<br />
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Crafted, I should introduce you to this guy... he's good-looking AND washes dishes too! LOL :) On a more serious note though... you ask a very good question, and I'm not 100% sure my answer to that will make sense (even to myself) - I've never really thought about it in that way. What I can tell you is this - I didn't respond well to being "instructed" even when I was a toddler. I'm very much an individual and a strong, independent person, and I guess I don't like any other person thinking they have the RIGHT to control me in any way. I'm not unreasonable (I think) - if you have a better way of doing things, by all means tell me about it!! BUT... I will think about it, and if your arguments were convincing I might try it your way - ultimately, I want to make that decision for myself. Same goes for work... if a colleague (or even my boss) needs something from me, the best way is to ASK me for it politely. I guess it's all about respect - I respect other people's rights to make their own choices (even if they mess it up), and I demand the same respect. Hope that makes sense!

I know EXACTLY what you mean - just the thought makes my blood boil! I also hate being told what to do - who the hell gives anyone the right to dictate to me! You hit a nerve baby .... love you R

Naughty, naughty B!! Putting a challenge like that out there... :) <br />
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Love you too, my friend!

hey you!!<br />
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you can't touch my bod,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,<br />
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heheheheeeee<br />
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i love you , angel<br />